An Infinite Death?
by margravinel
Summary: When Brooke's life is threatened following the testimony of her father in the case of a rapist, she is forced to stage her death and leave Tree Hill and Lucas behind. What happens when Lucas runs into her 5 years later in her new life? BRUCAS
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: The following story is set after 3.14 when Brucas are a couple. Nathan and Haley are back together but she is still currently living at the apartment with Brooke. The beginning of the story takes place before the school shooting and Leyton kiss. Therefore, Peyton is still missing Jake and is supportive of Brooke and Lucas' relationship. Everything prior to season 3 has happened as normal.**

Brooke watched the scene before her silently from the blacked out windows of the car she was currently sitting in. She watched as Keith's car pulled up at the graveyard and as Lucas slowly exited, Karen holding onto his arm supportively.

From the drivers' side, she saw Keith emerge and wrap his arm around Lucas' shoulder as they made their way towards the crowd of people gathered around a freshly dug grave. From where she was sitting, Brooke could tell Lucas had been crying, she could see that he was hurting. As she watched Brooke felt tears form behind her eyes and roll down her cheeks, dripping onto the unmoving hand placed on her lap.

More than anything in the world Brooke wanted to get out of the car and walk up to him. She wanted to pull him into a tight embrace, to kiss him lovingly and tell him that everything was going to be ok. That she was ok and that she loved him and always would.

However, it didn't matter how much Brooke wished to hold Lucas in her arms, the fact was that she couldn't. The only thing stopping her from running up to him now, was the knowledge that he'd be safer with her gone. That they all would.

She could see them all now, gathered around what would soon be her final resting place. After today Brooke Davis would cease to exist and she'd have to start again somewhere else, torn from the people that she considered her family. Separated from the people that she loves more than anything else in the world.

Brooke watched as Haley cried into Nathan's shoulder. During the last year, they'd become roommates, and over time that had developed into a wonderful friendship. A friendship that was now over, that Brooke would never be able to call upon again. Brooke took comfort though in the fact that Haley would have Nathan to lean on through this. Recently they'd decided to make another go of their relationship and Brooke was more than happy for them. Deep down she'd known that they'd find their way back to each other, just as her and Lucas had done.

One noticeable absence from her funeral was Peyton and as Brooke thought about her best friend three words sprung to mind.

_People always leave._

Brooke didn't blame Peyton for not attending the service. Peyton had been to enough funerals in her life without having to go to her best friends. Brooke knew that Peyton would be grieving in her own way and it hurt Brooke to think that this time she'd not be the person to comfort her and pull her through these dark times. Brooke felt guilty for her actions as she sat there watching her funeral, after all, Peyton was her best friend and following the death of her mom Brooke had promised that she would never leave her, that Peyton would have her no matter what.

If Brooke had any other choice than this she would have gladly taken it. However, this was her only way out, the only option that was given to her.

Two weeks ago, Brooke had discovered that her father had recently given evidence in court, which led to the conviction and imprisonment of a man who'd raped and assaulted a young woman. Following his conviction, someone close to him had threatened the life of both Brooke and her parents.

Shortly after the trial, Brooke's parents had received death threats at their home in California, warnings of what was soon to come. Fearing for their own safety as well as their daughters, Brooke's parents had been forced to give up everything and enter witness protection.

So it was that last week Brooke's father had killed her mother in a drunken rage before then killing himself. Or at least, that's what the papers had reported. The truth was that they'd relocated under different names, the government believing that the best way to keep them safe was staging their own deaths. Both her parents were now living a new life in New York City where Brooke would soon be joining them.

After the 'death' of her parents, Brooke had acted every part the devastated daughter and two days later a concerned 'neighbour' had found her unconscious on the bathroom floor of her apartment. A suicide note was placed on top of the kitchen counter, an assortment of pills and empty alcohol bottles left lying on the bathroom floor for her friends to find on returning to the apartment after learning of her death.

It had all been arranged methodically so that Haley was spending the night at Nathan's and Lucas was sharing a family dinner at Karen's café.

Brooke was happy with her life in Tree Hill and she'd fought her parents' decision until they'd finally worn her down, suggesting that whilst she remained there, all her friends would also be in danger, that she could be jeopardising their safety by staying here with them.

Finally Brooke had relented, and the events that followed had led her to where she sat now, watching from the back seat of a car while the people she considered family attended her funeral believing her dead. Since her supposed death, Brooke had thought that maybe it would have been better if she actually had died. At least that way she wouldn't have to live with the knowledge that she'd hurt the people she cared about, she wouldn't have to carry on with her life knowing that the people she loved were carrying on without her. That Lucas, her boyfriend and the person she loved was moving on without her.

As Brooke observed the solemn faces of her friends, she cried. Knowing that they were hurting and seeing Lucas in so much pain devastated Brooke, but this was for the best, or so she'd been told.

Finally the funeral came to a close and Brooke watched as Lucas and the others each piled a handful of freshly dug dirt on top of her newly lowered coffin. As people began to make their way back towards their cars and away from the grave, Brooke took one final look at her friends, committing every detail of them, every experience she'd shared with them to her memory.

When the majority of mourners had departed, Brooke watched as Lucas stood beside her grave and dropped one white rose onto the coffin below it, tears streaming from his eyes. He was alone now, Karen and Keith standing at a distance watching him as he said his final goodbye. From where she was sitting Brooke longed to be standing next to him, to have a proper goodbye, but as Lucas finally made his way towards his mom, the car slowly began to pull away from Tree Hill Cemetery and leave the only life she'd known behind her.

Brooke glanced one final time at Lucas as she placed her hand on the car window where she could see him. She watched until Lucas disappeared from view and once he'd vanished from sight she rested her head back against the car seat, closed her eyes and cried.


	2. Chapter 2

Following Brooke's funeral Lucas returned home to his room, unable to face the wake Haley was holding for her at the apartment. Karen and Keith had decided to make an appearance to pay their last respects to Brooke. Since Karen had lived with Brooke last year, the pair of them had become close and Brooke had even begun to consider Karen to be a surrogate mother to her whilst her parents were living in California.

Once they'd gone, Lucas was left alone in his room. As he lay on his bed staring aimlessly at the ceiling, memories of him and Brooke together began to flood back. After a while Lucas glanced around his room and was reminded of the times they'd spent together. Reminded of how he had lost his way last year when they'd been together, only for them to find each other once again when she returned following a summer apart.

When Brooke had left for California in the summer after he'd confessed his true feelings for her, Lucas had been devastated. He feared that he'd lost Brooke for good and that he'd never get another chance to prove himself or his feelings towards her again. However, on her return for senior year, Lucas and Brooke had rekindled their romance and although they'd had their fare share of ups and downs, Lucas was never happier than when they were together.

As he glanced around the room, Lucas noticed a small box sitting on top of his dresser and stood up slowly to retrieve it from it's place. After collecting the box, Lucas returned to sit on his bed and opened it tentatively. Inside were the letters that Brooke had written for him last summer, one letter for every day they'd spent apart.

Initially Lucas had not known about the letters. Brooke had been hesitant to send them to him at first. Worried that if she did she would risk suffering the same heartache he'd caused her last year when she'd discovered that he had been seeing Peyton behind her back. Eventually though, Brooke had given them to him. Brooke had been afraid that she was about to lose Lucas for good and so she had finally opened her heart up to him. It was during that moment that Lucas had remembered all the reasons that he loved her.

Brooke wasn't someone who was comfortable to appear vulnerable or sensitive. She didn't like opening her heart to people for the fear that they'd break it. However, in those letters Brooke had been so open and honest about her feelings that Lucas had fallen for her all over again, seeing the real person that she was hiding behind her defensive façade.

Lucas removed one of the letters from the box and began reading it slowly, picturing the girl that had written it in his mind. As he read the words that Brooke had written, Lucas began to cry, the realisation hitting him that never again will he be able to hold the girl who had composed them in his arms, or smell the sweet scent of her hair as he embraced her lovingly.

Lucas felt an emptiness inside as he wondered what the future would have held for the two of them had she lived. He wondered whether their love would have survived the test of time? If they would have remained together forever? Lucas couldn't answer that. He didn't know if their relationship would have lasted the distance. All he knew was that he'd wanted it to. That he'd wanted to have the chance to find out if they would have worked. Now all that was left was the endless questions and the constant doubts. The knowledge that now he'd never have the chance to find out if they were truly meant to be, as he believed that they were.

Brooke had once told him that _people who are meant to be always find their way in the end_. The truth was that Lucas hadn't really believed that until they'd reunited this year, but now Brooke was gone and he was left alone once more. Lucas wondered if that meant that they weren't meant to be?

Lucas shook his head slowly, as he questioned that, not accepting that it did. Everything with Brooke had felt so right to him, and whilst he was with her he couldn't imagine ever being anywhere else.

Suddenly Lucas heard a low knock on his bedroom door before it slowly began to open.

Lucas wiped at his eyes as he turned to see Peyton standing in the doorway, her eyes red and swollen from her obvious grief.

On seeing her, Lucas stood from his bed and pulled her into a warm embrace. It had only been a couple of weeks since Peyton had lost her birth mom Ellie to breast cancer. After the death of her adoptive mother Anna, Brooke had been the only person that could get through to Peyton, the only person that she'd let in and now she was gone too. Brooke was one of the only people that knew how to comfort her through the pain, that could pull Peyton through her grief and make her see that life was still there waiting for her when she was ready.

However, now she too had left her and Lucas couldn't help but think that _people always leave._

Brooke was Peyton's rock through some of the most difficult moments of her life. When times got hard Brooke was the one constant thing that she could depend on. Peyton had once likened Brooke to a skipping stone, not because she was an unreliable friend but because it better described her enthusiasm for life, her energetic personality.

For a moment, Lucas and Peyton sobbed in each other's arms at their loss. Although Lucas intended the hug to be consoling he knew that it offered little comfort to either of them. The embrace wouldn't bring Brooke back to them, nothing would. Never again would their group of friends be the same.

Brooke was the one that saw a silver lining in everything, the ever optimistic and charismatic cheerleader that could put a smile on anyone's face. Who was going to fill the void that she'd left in their lives? Would the future only hold sadness and melancholy now that she was gone?

Lucas was pulled suddenly from his thoughts as Peyton backed out of their embrace to look at him. She wiped at her eyes, tears still flowing freely from them as she cried. Lucas wiped at his own eyes before taking a seat on the edge of his bed. Peyton slowly sat beside him as he watched her closely.

As much as he was dealing with his own grief at present, Lucas couldn't help but worry about Peyton. Brooke was her family and now that she was gone, Lucas was concerned about how Peyton would cope on her own. Her father was still away working on the rig and now the person that filled the hole he left in Peyton's life had left an even larger one in the wake of her death. Although Lucas had lost Brooke, at least he could take some comfort and support from his mom and Keith.

The pair of them had been sitting in silence on the bed for a while, each lost in their own thoughts and their own memories of Brooke before Lucas finally decided to speak.

"I missed you at the funeral," Lucas said sadly. "Where were you?"

Peyton looked up to meet Lucas' gaze, tears in her eyes. She wiped at them once more, causing them to sting before answering his question.

"I couldn't face going," she said honestly. "I just…I wanted to go somewhere that meant something to me and Brooke…somewhere I could remember her."

Peyton paused a moment to swallow hard before continuing.

"I went to our spot under the bridge," Peyton said her voice hoarse from crying. "I remember she came down and found me there after my mom died…"

Lucas wrapped his arm around Peyton's shoulder and pulled her closer to him.

"You know Ellie once told me that used to watch the two of us playing down there when we were younger…I don't know…I guess I just thought I'd feel closer to her there." Peyton continued. "Does that sound crazy?"

Lucas smiled sadly at Peyton before answering.

"No, I don't think that sounds crazy," he answered her wiping at his eyes.

As she was looking at Lucas, Peyton noticed the box of letters lying on his bed and gestured towards them by nodding her head.

"Are those her letters?" Peyton asked him.

Lucas nodded his head slowly and lifted up the box to rest it on his lap.

"Yeah," he answered, filing through them with his free arm. "I was reading them before…I guess…I guess this is what makes me feel closer to her, kind of like a part of her is still here…"

"This is all my fault," Peyton suddenly said crying again.

"Peyton…" Lucas began, renewed tears now falling from his own eyes.

"No Lucas," Peyton protested. "I should have been there for her more when her parents died, I just…I was still coming to terms with Ellie and… and I couldn't…"

"This isn't your fault Peyton," Lucas said. "She knew what you were going through…If anyone's to blame, it's me…I mean I thought that she could talk to me about anything… I never imagined that she was feeling so depressed…so low that she'd…that she'd… do this…"

"Why didn't she talk to us?" Peyton asked upset. "I would have listened…I would have been there for her…like she was for me…"

Lucas shook his head sadly.

"I don't know Peyton," Lucas said his voice cracking slightly as he spoke. "I guess that's something that we'll never know."

"I miss her so much already," Peyton said as she finally broke down. "Sometimes I wake up and I forget that she's gone, you know? Or I'll be sitting in my room and I'll think that any minute now she'll poke her head around the door and scare the crap out of me. I can't imagine not seeing her again…I can't…"

Peyton closed her eyes for a moment as she wiped at them roughly with the back of her hand and sighed heavily.

"Sometimes I think that I'll never be happy again," Lucas shared desolately. "Like…from now on…all that I'll feel is this ache in here…this sadness when I think about her" Lucas said placing his hand on his chest. "It's like there's this…hole that she used to fill…a light that she used to bring into my life that no one could ever replace…but then I think that Brooke wouldn't want me to think like that…she'd want me to move on and be happy…just like she'd want you to be."

"I know," Peyton, said her voice barely above a whisper. "I just…I don't know what to do anymore Lucas…where do we go from here?"

"I don't know," Lucas said shaking his head sadly as he cried once more. "I honestly don't know Peyton…"


	3. Chapter 3

It had been five years since Brooke's unexpected death. Five years since the last time Lucas had held her in his arms, since he'd felt the touch of her skin against his as they lay together in bed. Today it had been five long years since Lucas had last told Brooke that he loved her, since he'd last seen her dimpled smile and felt the warmth of her breath against his neck as they hugged.

As Lucas sat in the back of a New York City cab on the way towards his hotel from the airport, he couldn't help but remember her. Only a few weeks before her death, Brooke had visited New York with Peyton and Haley to showcase her designs in the Rogue Vogue fashion show. The three of them had driven down to New York together following Ellie's death and the same evening Haley and Peyton had flown to join the rest of the cheerleading squad in Charlotte for the annual Sparkle Classic.

Brooke had been left alone in New York with the chance to fulfil her dream of becoming a fashion designer, but had surprised everyone by abandoning that vision and appearing in Charlotte the very next day to participate with her friends in the Sparkle Classic instead. Lucas smiled to himself as he remembered watching the cheerleaders perform.

The night before the competition Peyton had drowned her sorrows after recently losing her birth mom Ellie. The next day, Peyton had been severely hung-over whilst the team performed their routine and mid-way through she'd stumbled, knocking over another cheerleader and effectively ruining the performance.

For a moment, the rest of the team had stood stock-still watching as Peyton apologised profusely for her lack of co-ordination and wrecking the routine along with their chance at taking home the trophy. That was however, until Brooke slowly made her way towards the front of the stage and began to dance animatedly to the music.

Lucas could see Brooke clearly in his mind, as though she were once again standing in front of him on stage. He could see Brooke as she performed the robot in her blue Ravens cheerleading uniform, both the crowd and her fellow cheerleaders laughing at her lack of humiliation. Soon the rest of the squad had joined in, forgoing their prepared routine and instead deciding to make the most of the moment to enjoy themselves.

Watching from the crowd, Lucas had wanted nothing more than to share this moment with Brooke and so he and the rest of the Ravens basketball team had left their seats in the audience and made their way down to join their friends on stage.

Lucas and Brooke had laughed together as they danced to the music and as he remembered it now, Lucas felt tears forming in the back of his eyes. Before he'd known it, other teams had made their way onto the stage to dance with them and even though the Ravens had not won, Lucas had always felt that they would be the team that everyone remembered when they thought back on that years' classic.

Lucas glanced up at the sights through the cab window as he passed through the streets of New York. Had Brooke lived, Lucas could imagine her living here now with him, a fresh faced college graduate with the world at her feet. He could see them living together in a nice apartment building, her an up and coming fashion designer to rival some of the best names today and him a published author. They'd be living the high life, attending all the parties and social events that came with their new status. It would be just the two of them, enjoying a life which they could only ever dream of.

_At least that dream had come true for one of them_ Lucas thought to himself as he continued glancing out the cab window as it made its way through downtown New York. Following Brooke's death, Lucas had decided to start writing a novel, detailing the events of his life after he'd left the river court and joined the Tree Hill Ravens. Deciding when to start his novel from had been easier than he'd expected, all he'd had to do was choose the one moment that changed everything.

_His first meeting with Brooke._

The first time he and Brooke had spoken, she'd appeared half naked in the back seat of his car. Lucas had just made the first game winning shot of his varsity basketball career and he'd been on a complete adrenaline high as she'd spoken to him with her raspy voice from the back seat.

"_I mean, how many moments in your life can you look back on and say, that's when it all changed. You've just had one."_

At the time Lucas hadn't realised how true Brooke's words would turn out to be. From that moment on, his whole life had been different. That one winning shot had altered the entire course of his life. That one moment had triggered a whole chain of events, which ultimately had led to him and Nathan becoming close as brothers. It had led to Haley and Nathan falling in love and marrying, to Lucas being introduced to not only Peyton and popularity.

Most of all though, that moment had led him to Brooke. Scoring that game-winning basket had bought her into his life, and along with her happiness and laughter soon followed.

After three years of writing, Lucas had finally finished his novel _An Unkindness of Ravens_. It had taken him a while but eventually Lucas had found someone willing to publish his story. Today was the official release date, and from twelve o'clock his first novel would be on store shelves across the country for everyone to read. Initially, Lucas had been worried about the response his book would receive, however, interest surrounding his book had turned out to be bigger than he'd ever expected with reviewers claiming it a 'must read for anyone' and one film producer who'd managed to get hold of a pre-released copy, had already approached Lucas asking for the rights to adapt his story into a movie.

Suddenly Lucas noticed the cab coming to a stop outside his hotel. After retrieving his suitcase from the trunk, Lucas paid the driver and watched for a moment as he pulled away from the curb and vanished into the sea of yellow cabs making their way up and down the busy street before him.

A minute later, Lucas sighed and lifted his suitcase from the ground, turning around to face the towering hotel in front of him. As Lucas glanced up at the hotel name, _The Carlton, _displayed above the entrance he couldn't help but wish that Brooke were here to share this with him. That she'd had the opportunity to read what he'd written about her in his book.

Lucas stood looking at the name for a moment longer before slowly climbing the steps to the hotel and entering through the glass doors to check himself in.

* * *

Brooke lay on her back as she rested on the large leather sofa in her apartment lounge. As she lay there she began flicking lazily through the pages of the latest edition "In Style Magazine." Today would be five years since she'd been forced to move away from her home in Tree Hill and leave her friends and Lucas behind. 

Not a day had passed since she'd moved to New York that she hadn't thought about that life, about the people she'd left behind. Often she'd find herself sitting at her desk at work, wondering what her friends were up to now they'd finished college, wondering if they were ever still thought about her and if they missed her.

A couple of times throughout the last five years, Brooke had almost left New York to return to Tree Hill. She'd been so depressed when she had first arrived that Brooke had wanted to leave witness protection and go home. Brooke would rather have lived with the knowledge that she was in danger with the support of her friends, than live alone.

A few months after arriving in New York however, something happened to change that mentality. Brooke had been forced to grow up extremely quickly and instead of wallowing in self pity for what she'd left behind she'd had to start making something of the circumstances she was faced with to build a life for herself here in New York.

Following the end of high school, Brooke had attended college to study fashion. With the new demands placed on her life she'd struggled, but eventually she'd finished and had immediately started working for Victoria Secret, designing her own line of clothes.

Soon Brooke had made a name for herself in the fashion industry and the hype surrounding her and her designs increased tenfold. Before she knew it, she had contracts with a multitude of companies, designing their latest ranges. Brooke had even been approached by a number of celebrities to design their dresses for award events.

Although Brooke's name was big in the fashion industry, her face was not. Before Brooke had become well known, she'd been happy to show her face at fashion shows and events, but once she'd made a name for herself Brooke had been worried that someone from her past life would recognise her and so she'd stopped attending them. Instead Brooke would send two of her close personal assistants in her place.

Brooke closed the magazine she'd been attempting to distract herself with and placed it on the coffee table beside her sighing heavily as she thought about how she'd ended up here.

After joining the witness protection programme, Brooke was encouraged to keep her first name as most members are. However, Brooke had been asked to alter her last name to a different one with the same initial. Therefore, from the moment Brooke had left Tree Hill and entered into witness protection she'd been known as Brooke Davenport.

The name had taken a while to grow on her, and whenever Brooke signed it anywhere all she could hear was Peyton's voice in her head calling her _B. Davis_. Her new name just didn't have the same ring to it as her old one.

Brooke had thought it stupid that she'd been asked to use her first name in her new life. She even felt that keeping the same initial for her surname had been a pointless exercise. After all, wasn't the whole point of having a new identity that you change your name? Brooke just didn't feel that it had been a big enough change to protect her family from being found.

However, she was soon grateful that she'd been allowed to remain Brooke. It helped her feel connected to her old life somehow, as though by being Brooke she hadn't lost herself completely, that she hadn't lost who she'd been back in that life. Her doubts about the name change soon faded as well, after all it had been four years and so far her family had remained unhurt and undiscovered by the people they were hiding from.

As Brooke lay on the sofa in her lounge, she considered phoning her parents at their home across town. Brooke had moved out after starting college, feeling as though she needed to be more independent and that the distance would help her settle into her new life. Since moving to New York, Brooke had become very close to her parents and she'd finally felt as though they were a real family again.

Brooke would meet up with them regularly and at least once a week the three of them would sit down to dinner together and discuss what was happening in their lives. As she picked up the phone on the coffee table, Brooke remembered that her parents were out of town for the weekend on a romantic break. Brooke looked down at the phone in her hand and considered how easy it would be for her to call one of her old friends and see how they were doing.

As she stared at the phone Brooke shook her head to rid that thought immediately before placing it back on the coffee table. Today was always difficult for Brooke as she remembered sitting alone in the black car, watching as her friends attended what they believed to be her funeral. She remembered watching Lucas as he threw a single white rose onto her grave. She remembered how broken he'd been and how he'd cried. How seeing him Lucas cry had caused her to do the same thing.

Today it had been five years since Brooke had left, since she'd made a new life for herself and remained hidden out of harms way. She wasn't about to jeopardise that by giving into temptation now. Over the years she'd picked up the phone countless times to call Peyton or Haley, she'd even dialled the whole of Lucas' number minus one digit before hanging up the phone.

Brooke sighed heavily again, slowly standing up from her position on the sofa and began making her way towards the kitchen, avoiding an array of toys flung across her apartment floor.

When she reached the kitchen, Brooke opened the cupboard to make herself a cup of strong coffee but when she glanced inside, Brooke discovered the jar empty and cursed under her breath. Brooke closed the cupboard door before making her way back into the hall and slipping on her shoes whilst picking up her keys and purse from the table by the door.

Once her she had the items in her hand, Brooke opened her apartment door and left, locking it closed behind her. Slowly Brooke began making her way towards the entrance to her apartment building, opening her purse in her hand and dropping her keys inside safely. As she made her way down the corridor, zipping up her purse she almost knocked into her neighbour Mrs Feltham.

"I'm so sorry Mrs Feltham," Brooke said swinging her now closed purse over her shoulder and looking towards the friendly old woman.

"Don't worry" Mrs Feltham said smiling at her obviously sensing her sincerity. "It's not a problem dear."

Brooke smiled at her neighbours' words and nodded appreciatively before starting on her way again. Mrs Feltham was a widow who had lived in the apartment next to Brooke since she'd moved in after high school. They spoke often and when she'd first moved in, Mrs Feltham had often invited Brooke over for dinner with her. She and the old woman had become close over the years however Brooke did still not feel comfortable addressing her by her first name even though Mrs Feltham had asked her too on a number of occasions.

Mrs Feltham, or Joyce reminded Brooke of Whitey, the Tree Hill Ravens coach and a part of Brooke felt that was why she had taken such a liking to her.

"Brooke," Joyce called as Brooke continued down the hall.

Brooke turned on hearing her name and smiled, knowing what she would say next.

"Yeah?" Brooke asked playfully.

"Would you please call me Joyce?" Mrs Feltham asked her once again. "You're starting to make me feel old."

Brooke laughed as she answered.

"Sure thing Mrs Feltham." Brooke replied.

Brooke watched Mrs Feltham long enough to see the small smile creep across her face as she shook her head slowly from side to side in defeat.

"Will the two of you still be coming over for dinner tonight?" Joyce asked Brooke after a moment.

"Of course," Brooke responded smiling kindly. "It's Friday night, after all."

"Good," Joyce replied. "I have a special meal planned for your anniversary."

"You remembered it's our anniversary?" Brooke asked surprised as she took a step towards her.

"Tonight will be four years since the two of you moved into the apartment," Mrs Feltham smiled. "You were half way through your first year of college…I always remember because today would have been mine and Arthur's wedding anniversary."

"I'm sorry," Brooke, said sincerely completely overlooking the fact today would have been Joyce and her husbands wedding anniversary were he still alive. "I'd completely forgotten all about that. Happy Anniversary."

"Thank you." Mrs Feltham replied genuinely. "You know Brooke, you don't have to come over tonight if you don't want to... I know that you're extremely busy with work and everything…. I guess I just think of you both as members of my own family…"

Brooke smiled at Joyce's words. The truth was that she too thought of the old lady as a member of her family, when Brooke had been having problems with Ash it was her that she'd turned to for advice first.

"Well we'll definitely be there," Brooke answered smiling kindly at her neighbour. "We wouldn't miss it for anything."

The old lady smiled before nodding her head and turning to make her way back to her apartment.

Brooke watched after her as Mrs Feltham disappeared out of sight and smiled. She couldn't be sure but she thought that she'd seen tears forming in her neighbours' eyes before she'd left.

After Mrs Feltham had disappeared, Brooke turned and made her way to the entrance of her apartment building, exiting into the bright sunlight outside. Quickly Brooke began walking down the now familiar street towards the Starbucks café on the corner. Whenever she entered the café to get her morning coffee before she'd normally head to work, Brooke couldn't help but think of Karen's café back in Tree Hill.

Karen's had always felt so unique and familiar to Brooke compared to the merchandised and detached feeling that the Starbucks instilled in her. On every occasion that she'd entered the Starbucks coffee house, Brooke had half expected to see a smiling Haley on the other side of the counter.

After entering Starbucks, Brooke approached the counter and ordered her coffee 'to go' from the woman behind it. Although Brooke wasn't working today and therefore was in no rush to leave the coffee shop, she wasn't in the mood to sit over her drink and contemplate her past in public. In her eyes, Brooke would be much happier returning to her apartment, lounging in from of the TV and waiting for Ash to come home.

Brooke waited patiently whilst her order was made ready and after the assistant handed it to her over the counter she turned to leave the coffee shop. On the site she was faced with on turning Brooke instantly dropped her freshly made coffee onto the floor, the lid of her cup coming off and the hot liquid spreading into a puddle across the ground at her feet.

Brooke stood staring at the door to the coffee house, motionless, her heart thumping violently in her chest. The one person she'd never expected to see again in her life had just entered her local Starbucks and now stood staring at her from where he stood, his mouth agape in complete shock.

"Brooke?" Lucas stuttered in disbelief, confusion evident on his face. "Brooke is that you?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Lightning Crashes by Live playing in background**

On first glance, Lucas had believed himself to be imagining Brooke standing before him. However, as he stepped closer towards her, Lucas had no doubt in his mind that it was in fact her.

Although she had aged slightly and her hair was now shorter than it had been the last time Lucas had seen her, he knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was Brooke. Even though it had been five years since they'd last spoken, there was no mistaking her face.

For the last five years, all Lucas had seen when he closed his eyes to sleep, all he'd dreamt about at night and remembered on entering the school gym to play basketball had been that face. When he'd look towards the rest of the cheerleaders as he played, all Lucas had seen was the memory of Brooke's smiling face looking back at him.

As he looked into that face again now, Lucas remembered the way Brooke's cheeks dimpled adoringly when she smiled. How her eyes made him feel as though he'd been struck by lightning when they tore into his. Looking at her now, Lucas remembered every little detail about her as though she'd never been gone. As though she'd actually been by his side every day for the last five years.

Lucas thought that if it was possible, Brooke looked even more stunning now then he had remembered her. As he looked at her, Lucas completely forgot the fact that she was supposed to be dead. That back home in Tree Hill, there was a granite gravestone with her name carved into it. A grave that he'd visited often in the days since her death.

Over the years Lucas had come to know that grave as his salvation, a place he could escape to when life was bringing him down or he needed somewhere to think. On many occasions, Lucas had gone to the site and placed a single white rose atop the headstone. For hours he'd sit alone contemplating the world. On his visits to her grave, Lucas would talk to Brooke as though she were still there listening to him, divulging his deepest secrets and keeping her up to date on the lives of their friends and family.

Many times when Lucas was upset, he'd find himself sharing his problems with her and although he never got a response, Lucas always felt better for it. Brooke's grave had seen Lucas through a number of difficult times. He'd often found himself there following Peyton's suicide attempt not long after Brooke's death and when he'd suffered a heart attack following the state championships during senior year.

Her grave had helped him through those times, as though being there somehow made him closer to Brooke. As well as the difficult times, Lucas had also found himself there when he wanted to share good news. When Haley had first told him she was pregnant towards the end of senior year, Lucas had gone to Brooke's grave to reveal his excitement at becoming an uncle.

However, as he stood before Brooke now, Lucas felt as though all those memories had been a dream. That for the last five years, he and Brooke had been together and all those nights of emptiness and pain he'd felt following her death had never happened. He was so happy to see her in that moment, that he'd forgotten everything that had taken place between them. In that moment, ignorance really was bliss.

"Brooke?" Lucas said again as he moved closer to her, his body now only inches from hers.

For her part Brooke was too stunned by Lucas' presence to speak. Inside Brooke's heart felt as though it was bursting with happiness at seeing Lucas before her and she wanted more than anything to throw her arms around his neck and pull his body close to hers.

Yet, on the outside Brooke felt as though her chest was constricting with panic. Lucas was not supposed to be here now. He was never supposed to see her ever again, no one was. As far as the world was concerned, Brooke Davis was dead. There was no possible way she could explain this to Lucas without hurting him more than she already had.

How could she tell him that everything had been a hoax, that she'd left him to start over somewhere else. That she'd allowed him and everyone else to believe she had died. Lucas would never understand what she'd given up to ensure him and the rest of her friends remained safe. She'd given up her whole world to guarantee that she'd keep her life.

Brooke knew that the truth would only anger and confuse Lucas, yet alone jeopardise her own safety should the knowledge that she was still alive get out. Everyone was better off being naive and believing her dead.

As Lucas took another step towards her, Brooke backed up slightly, stepping out of the puddle of coffee which had gathered around her feet on the floor. A look of hurt spread across Lucas' face as Brooke backed away from him and he reached out his hand hesitantly in an attempt to stroke the side of her face.

"Brooke…" Lucas said, pain evident in his voice. "It's you, isn't it?"

"I'm sorry," Brooke, said firmly avoiding his touch for fear that she would lose control completely. "I don't know what…"

"It's you," Lucas said reaching out and this time managing to brush the side of her face gently with his hand. "I know it is."

"Lucas," Brooke said almost inaudibly as she closed her eyes under his touch.

Lucas smiled at the sound of his name and stepped closer towards her again, traipsing through the spilt coffee on the floor in the process. Around the room, a number of people were watching the exchange with interest, trying to ascertain what was going on between the two people before them.

Brooke sensed Lucas staring at her and finally opened her eyes to meet his gaze. With his body so close to hers Brooke felt more vulnerable than she had in years. Looking deeply into his eyes for the first time in five years felt almost cruel to her and she couldn't be certain that she was not dreaming this entire encounter.

Brooke saw Lucas smile again as she looked at him and his eyes lit up with the recognition that he found in hers. Lucas reached forward with his hand once more and brushed a stray piece of hair out of Brooke's eyes, causing her to bow her head slightly and look at the ground at her feet.

Lucas ran his hand slowly through Brooke's hair, causing her to swallow hard before he finally rested it at the base of her neck. Suddenly the realisation came flooding back to Lucas that Brooke should not be here, that she shouldn't be standing before him now. Suddenly Lucas remembered that he shouldn't be able to feel the touch of her skin under his hand.

At this comprehension, a small frown crossed over Lucas' face and he sighed as he leant his head forward to rest against Brooke's forehead. Brooke felt her breath catch in her chest at the contact an Lucas moved his hand from it's position on her neck and began to run his hands up and down her arms in unison.

"Tell me it's really you." Lucas almost begged her. "Tell me that I'm not imagining this, that you're really here."

Brooke closed her eyes again to compose herself as she felt Lucas' hand continue to run up and down her body. It was as though by doing this he was proving to himself that she was in fact real.

"Lucas," Brooke said quietly. "Please…don't…"

Lucas ignored Brooke's words and continued to touch her, fearing that if he let go she would disappear again.

Finally Lucas removed his head from resting against hers and looked deeply into Brooke's eyes which were now glancing back at him. Lucas placed both his hands on her shoulders as he next spoke and squeezed them gently in disbelief.

"God, it's really you," Lucas said laughing to himself quietly. "I can't believe it…you're really here."

"Lucas…" Brooke said sadly. "We should talk…"

Lucas placed a finger over her lips to stop Brooke from continuing before brushing the side of her cheek with the palm of his hand. Brooke felt herself press her face more firmly against him, knowing where it would lead to but unable to stop herself.

As though he could read her thoughts, Lucas reached his other hand up to Brooke's face and ran it through her hair as he moved his face closer to hers. Brooke felt electricity shoot up her spine as she sensed Lucas' warm breath on her face. Everything within Brooke was screaming at her to move away from Lucas but as hard as she tried, she was powerless to pull herself away from him.

Lucas continued to stare deeply into Brooke eyes as he slowly pressed his lips against hers and moved his body even closer.

"Lucas…" Brooke said quietly, trying to protest.

As much as she wanted to kiss him, Brooke knew that it would only complicate things further, however she was unable to stop herself. As Brooke opened her mouth to speak again, Lucas took the opportunity to kiss her once more and before Brooke knew what she was doing, she'd pulled Lucas closer to her and had deepened it further.

Lucas continued to run his hand through Brooke's hair as he kissed her, until suddenly Brooke pulled away from him. Lucas opened his eyes quickly at the loss of contact to find Brooke walking past him and heading quickly towards the door.

"Brooke," Lucas called after her, as he watched her.

When Brooke did not stop, Lucas began to chase after her, ignoring the questioning looks from the other customers who'd been watching the two of them closely.

Lucas burst through the doors to the coffee house and onto the street outside, the change in light blinding him slightly as he looked up and down the street for Brooke. Finally, Lucas spotted Brooke in the distance as she ran in between the crowd of people in an attempt to leave him behind. Lucas began to frantically chase after her, pushing his way through the crowd and trying not to lose her in the mass of people that surrounded him.


	5. Chapter 5

As he continued to pursue Brooke through the crowds of people surrounding him, Lucas slowly began to make ground and close the distance between the two of them.

"Brooke!" Lucas called after her as he continued to make his way through the mass of people on the street.

Brooke ignored Lucas' words as she continued towards her apartment building. As much as she wanted to stop and wait for Lucas to catch up, she knew that it would only complicate matters and lead to questions, which she was not yet prepared to answer. Finally she reached the door to her apartment building and quickly removed the keys from her pocket to open the door.

Hurriedly, Brooke entered the building, turning as she did to close the door firmly behind her in one fluid motion. Just as she was shutting the door, Brooke caught sight of Lucas running hastily towards her and heard the sound of his hands connect with the wood as the door clicked loudly back into place.

"Damn it," Lucas muttered under his breath as he pounded his hands against the door once more in frustration.

With his hands still placed firmly on the door in front of him, Lucas rested his forehead gently on the wood and sighed heavily.

"Brooke," he said loud enough that he hoped she'd still be able to hear if she was waiting on the other side of the door.

Inside the apartment building, Brooke was standing inches away from the door, staring at it as though she was expecting it to open at any moment and Lucas to walk in.

"Brooke," Lucas said again more loudly then before. "Are you there?"

At Lucas' words Brooke felt her hand reach slowly towards the door handle and hover hesitantly over it as she struggled with the desire to let him in.

"Brooke if you're there…just…just let me in ok?" Lucas said again. "I just want to talk…. Brooke?"

The sound of Lucas' voice once again bought Brooke back to her senses and she quickly withdrew her hand from the door as she shook her head slowly from side to side. Brooke threw once final glance towards the door before finally turning away from where Lucas was standing on the other side and making her way back up to her apartment.

Feeling the frustration build within him, Lucas gently began tapping his head against the door in front of him, before finally banging his fists against the wood.

"Brooke!" Lucas shouted, annoyance evident in his voice as he pounded his fists against the door again. "Brooke! Would you _please _just let me in so we can talk?"

Suddenly Lucas lifted his head from it's position on the door when he heard someone clear they're throat behind him. Lucas turned his head quickly to look at whoever had made the noise and was surprised when he didn't immediately notice the source of it.

The person cleared their throat once more and Lucas glanced down to where the sound had come from.

"Are you ok?" the young women asked from her wheelchair as Lucas looked at her, a shocked expression on his face.

"I'm sorry?" Lucas asked puzzled. "Uh, what did you say?"

"I asked if you were ok?" the women said again.

Lucas peered back at the door to Brooke's apartment building before looking back towards the young women.

"Uh…yeah." Lucas said unconvincingly. "I'm fine."

"Really?" the young women asked laughing. "Only, you look pretty agitated from where I'm sitting."

Lucas glanced back at the door feeling slightly embarrassed.

"Uh, it's just…a friend of mine lives here…" Lucas began uncomfortably.

"Well, you know, there is a better way to get a tenants attention then knocking on the front door of their apartment building…" the women said teasingly.

Lucas looked at the young women, a slight smile on his face.

"Oh yeah and what would that be?" Lucas asked.

"Try buzzing their actual apartment," she said pointing towards the intercom system, which was on the wall next to Lucas.

Lucas glanced at the panel and frowned before turning back to the woman.

"You do know their apartment number right?" she asked noticing his expression.

"It's kind of complicated." Lucas said a look of confusion crossing his face. "Anyway, no offence but what's any of this got to do with you?"

"Well," the women started, obviously not taking any insult from Lucas' words. "I was just wondering if you were going to be moving anytime soon so that I could get into my apartment."

As she spoke, the women glanced down at the small ramp that Lucas was standing at the top of as though to make her point.

On realising that he was obstructing her path to the door, Lucas moved out of her way.

"I'm sorry," he said as he stepped to the side. "I didn't realise you lived here, I just thought…"

"That I was being nosy?" the women asked laughing.

"Yeah, I guess," Lucas, said feeling his cheeks redden with embarrassment. "I'm so sorry."

The woman began pushing herself up the ramp so that her wheelchair was now on the same level as Lucas was standing.

"Don't worry about it," she said laughing good-naturedly. "If I were you, I'd probably think the same thing."

The women paused for a moment as she fished around in her pocket for her keys before speaking.

"So you're after Brooke?" the woman asked him as she finally found her keys.

"How did you know that?" Lucas asked the woman surprised.

"Well, you shouting her name was a bit of a giveaway." The woman answered smiling.

"Do you know her?" Lucas asked optimistically.

"Just a little," the woman said watching Lucas closely. "I live in the apartment next to hers."

"You do?" Lucas asked, hope filling his voice. "I don't suppose…"

"I don't know," the woman interrupted him, as she manoeuvred her wheelchair closer to the door. "I mean, for all I know you could be anyone."

"Listen…" Lucas said probing the woman for a name.

"Carly," she informed him.

"Listen Carly," Lucas begun again. "I know you don't have any reason to trust me, it's just…I haven't seen Brooke in a really long time."

Lucas paused for a moment before continuing.

"I just want to talk to her, I promise." Lucas said sincerely.

Carly seemed to consider Lucas' words for a moment before answering.

"Look, you seem like a nice enough guy and everything, it's just…I don't know…" Carly said. "I mean there must be a reason that she doesn't want to talk to you? It's hard for me to believe you're friends when you don't even know her apartment number."

Carly paused for a moment to think before finally coming to a decision.

"Tell you what, why don't you give me an address or number that I can give to her?" Carly asked. "That way if she wants to get in contact, she can."

"Ok," Lucas said in defeat. "Can you just tell her that I'm in town for a couple of days and I'm staying at The Carlton hotel, room number 209."

"You want to leave a name?" Carly asked meeting Lucas' gaze.

"It's Lucas," he replied steadily.

"Lucas?" Carly asked, a hint of recognition in her voice.

"Yeah," Lucas said confused. "Has she spoken to you about me?"

Carly avoided answering Lucas question as she responded.

"Listen, why don't you wait here for a minute whilst I go inside?" Carly began watching Lucas closely. "I'll tell her that you're out here…"

"Thank you," Lucas said gratefully to the young woman, cutting her off.

"I'm not promising anything," Carly finished as she put her keys into the lock. "If she's not out in a couple of minutes I think it's safe to assume that she's not coming."

"I understand," Lucas, said as he watched Carly push the door to her building open slightly and began wheeling herself inside, her wheelchair grinding against the door as she forced her way in.

Once Carly was inside, Lucas had to fight the urge to hold the door open and enter after her. However, Lucas knew that he'd lose her trust if he did and Carly would never tell him which apartment was Brooke's.

Lucas heard the door click back into place as it locked once more and sighed heavily before leaning back against the wall of the building to wait.

Inside, Carly made her way down the corridor of the building towards Brooke's door. Initially she'd been worried that Lucas would try to follow after her, but the fact that he hadn't was definitely a huge plus in her books.

Carly stopped just outside Brooke's door and tapped gently on it with the back of her hand. Moments later, the door slowly opened and Brooke appeared from behind it.

"Carly?" Brooke said sounding slightly surprised.

"Were you expecting someone else?" Carly asked smiling slightly.

"Uh…no." Brooke said unconvincingly.

"Really?" Carly mocked. "Say a tall, blonde man…goes by the name of Lucas."

Brooke's expression suddenly changed to one of shock as she heard Carly say his name.

"You spoke to him?" Brooke asked.

"He was standing in the way," Carly answered simply.

"He's still outside?" Brooke asked, her voice rising slightly in disbelief.

"Yeah, he seems really eager to talk to you," Carly answered watching Brooke closely.

Brooke looked down the corridor for a moment before glancing back at Carly.

"So listen Brooke," Carly asked interestedly. "Am I right to assume that he's Ash's dad? I mean, all you ever told me about him, was that it was some guy called Lucas."

"Carly…" Brooke started but Carly cut her off.

"Seriously Brooke," Carly said. "How many people could you possibly know with that name? I don't think I know anyone. It's not exactly common."

Brooke sighed heavily as she glanced down the corridor once more.

"Listen," Carly started kindly. "I don't know what happened between the two of you, but the guy's here now so maybe you should just hear him out."

"It's complicated," Brooke said quietly.

"Funny," Carly said laughing slightly. "That's exactly what he said."

Brooke looked at Carly for a moment before glancing down the corridor again.

"Look, Brooke." Carly said addressing her friend. "He's here and you're here. Would it really be that bad just to talk to him for a couple of minutes?" Carly asked.

Outside the apartment building, Lucas was looking at his watch, trying to figure out how long he'd been waiting for the door to open. As he waited, he started to think that maybe it would have been better if he'd followed after Carly into the building.

"Damn it," Lucas muttered under his breath as he pushed himself away from the way and slowly made his way down the couple of steps onto the street.

As he started to make his way slowly away from the building Lucas heard the door behind him open and someone call his name. Lucas turned around quickly to see the form of Brooke standing in the opening.

Lucas approached the door once again, watching Brooke closely as he did. When he reached the threshold, Brooke moved aside to let him in. Brooke exhaled deeply before firmly closing the door shut behind them.


	6. Chapter 6

After closing the door to her apartment building firmly behind her, Brooke turned around to find Lucas watching her closely from a few feet away. Brooke avoided his probing gaze, by dropping her chin towards her chest and glancing down at the red-carpeted floor beneath her feet.

With her eyes still fixed firmly on the floor, Brooke silently passed Lucas and began to make her way back towards her apartment. The only sign Brooke had that Lucas was following was the sound of his heavy footsteps behind her.

As she approached her apartment, Brooke looked up, hoping that Carly was still loitering outside Mrs Feltham's apartment, waiting for the old lady to answer her knock. However, Brooke was disappointed to find the corridor empty. Inside, Brooke was dreading the conversation that was to take place between her and Lucas, knowing deep down that he'd never fully understand her decision to leave Tree Hill under the pretence that she had.

Brooke knew that Carly could never know the full details of the conversation that was about to take place between herself and Lucas. However, a part of Brooke wished that her friend could be present to offer her support and prevent the interaction from getting out of hand.

On reaching her apartment door, Brooke paused momentarily, her hand placed firmly on the handle as she sighed heavily. After taking a moment to compose herself, Brooke slowly pushed the door open and stepped inside. Once she was standing in her apartment, Brooke held the door wide for Lucas and waited patiently for him to enter.

Silently, Lucas walked past Brooke and into her apartment, each of them avoiding the others gaze. As he made his way inside, Lucas glanced curiously around Brooke's open plan lounge/kitchen as she closed the door behind him. For a moment, Brooke continued to stand by the now closed door, watching Lucas as he slowly made his way around the room and took in the scene before him.

Brooke watched wordlessly as Lucas threw questioning glances towards the array of toys strewn haphazardly across her living room floor before coming to a halt by the kitchen counter.

For a moment, neither Brooke nor Lucas said anything and instead a heavy silence fell across the room as Lucas turned his attention to a letter, which was lying atop the counter beside him.

Lucas frowned as he read the name written on the letter before him and quickly turned his attention back to Brooke who was slowly approaching him from the direction of the door.

"Brooke Davenport?" Lucas asked her, surprise evident in his voice.

As Brooke reached where Lucas was standing, she gently removed the letter from his grasp and placed it face down back on to the counter where he'd found it.

"Lucas…" Brooke began to explain, staring at the ground before her as she shifted uncomfortably where she stood.

"You're married?" Lucas interrupted disbelievingly.

"What?" Brooke said in shock as she snapped her head up to meet Lucas' gaze and started to protest. "No…Lucas…I'm not married…I…"

"Unbelievable," Lucas muttered to himself completely ignoring Brooke's words and stepping away from her as he glanced once more at the toys lying on the ground at his feet.

When he'd first ran into Brooke this morning, Lucas had been so happy to have her standing before him that he'd completely forgotten everything that had taken place over the last five years. All those long dark nights that Lucas had spent lying awake in his bed, his thoughts filled with memories of Brooke, his heart aching with her loss were all gone, instead replaced by his sudden joy at seeing her once again.

However, as Lucas stood alone with Brooke now in her apartment, all those memories suddenly came flooding back. All the pain and anger he'd felt after she'd gone, the heartache he'd suffered as he struggled to carry on without her had unexpectedly risen up within him on discovering that she was now married. The knowledge that Brooke had allowed him and all her friends to believe that she was dead these past five years whilst she had been happy was too much for Lucas to bear.

Unable to keep his emotions under control any longer, Lucas' composure finally broke and caused him to lash out.

"I can't believe you're married!" Lucas shouted at Brooke as he spun quickly on his heels to face her, his expression betraying the obvious hurt he was feeling. "Jesus Brooke! Do you have any idea what the hell you've put us through…what you put me through?"

"Lucas…" Brooke said taking a step towards him and extending a hand out towards his arm.

"No Brooke!" Lucas yelled as he rapidly moved his arm out of her reach. "How could you do something like that to us? All this time we thought you were dead…and here you are playing happily families in your new life."

"Please, Lucas…" Brooke tried again. "If you just let me explain."

"Explain what?" Lucas asked angrily. "Explain how for the last five years we've all been trying to come to terms with the fact that you killed yourself…to banish the guilt and blame that we felt for your death because you didn't feel like you could come to us with your problems…. because we weren't there for you when you needed us."

"Lucas," Brooke said loudly in frustration. "It was complicated ok…. if…"

"Complicated?" Lucas said laughing to himself derisively as he cut her off. "Brooke as far as I'm concerned you shouldn't even be here right now. You should be dead…you are _dead_. You died…I was there…ok…I was there when they buried you…I watched them lower your body into the ground…"

"Lucas would you please just listen to me?" Brooke interrupted him loudly, a hint of annoyance creeping into her voice.

"No you listen to me Brooke!" Lucas shouted defiantly as he stepped towards Brooke, anger evident in his body language.

At Lucas' sudden movement, Brooke flinched slightly in fear and reflexively took a step back from him. Lucas looked slightly shocked at Brooke's response and quickly ran a hand through his hair before reaching out calmly to place a reassuring hand on her arm.

Lucas frowned slightly as Brooke avoided his touch and a flash of concern crossed his face.

"I'm sorry," he said shocked, his anger subsiding slightly as he pulled his hand back away from her. "Brooke…I…I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's ok," Brooke said quietly as she continued to step back away from Lucas, a look of pain in her eyes. "You have every right to be angry Lucas…"

"Maybe…" Lucas said taking a hesitant step towards Brooke. "But still…I shouldn't have lost it like I did…I…"

"Perhaps you should sit down?" Brooke suggested sighing as she nodded her head in the direction of the sofa. "I'll explain everything to you, ok? You deserve the truth Lucas…I just…I don't want us to yell at each other. That's not going to solve anything…"

Brooke watched Lucas closely as he nodded his agreement and made his way towards the sofa. As Lucas was slowly taking a seat, Brooke heard a faint knock on the door followed by the sound of a familiar voice.

"Brooke," Carly called knocking on the door again. "Hey Brooke, are you ok in there?"

From his position on the sofa, Lucas watched as Brooke made her way to her apartment door and opened it slowly. Lucas could see Carly clearly from where he was sitting and noted the concerned expression on her face as she glanced into the apartment.

"Hey Carly," Brooke said trying to act more composed than she was obviously feeling.

"Hey," Carly said attempting to read her friends expression. "Is everything alright? I heard shouting…"

"Yeah," Brooke interrupted quickly, throwing a glance towards Lucas. "Everything's fine…"

"Are you sure?" Carly said eyeing Lucas. "I can stay if you need me to…I just…with everything that happened with Michael…I …"

"Thanks Carly," Brooke said sincerely cutting her friend off. "But honestly this…it's…uh…it's not like that I promise…"

"Ok," Carly said hesitantly. "As long as you're sure…but…if you change your mind…I'll just be next door…"

"I know," Brooke said gratefully. "Thank you."

Carly threw one last look towards Lucas who was watching the exchange between the two girls curiously before finally smiling at Brooke and disappearing towards her own apartment.

Brooke watched after her for a moment before closing the apartment door and turning around to face Lucas who was studying her from the couch with a frown on his face.

"Is everything alright?" Lucas asked Brooke as she began to make her way back towards him.

"Uh…yeah," Brooke said glancing over her shoulder momentarily towards the door.

When she met Lucas' gaze again, Brooke threw her hand in front of her dismissively and continued.

"Carly just wanted to make sure I was ok," Brooke said matter of factly. "She heard shouting and…she just worries about me…that's all."

"She's a good friend," Lucas said looking towards the door.

"Yeah," Brooke agreed, taking a seat in the chair opposite Lucas. "She is."

Lucas nodded at Brooke's response as an awkward silence fell over the pair of them, neither one of them sure how to start the conversation that Brooke would rather avoid. Lucas couldn't put his finger on it, but ever since Brooke had cowered away from him, she'd been acting differently. She seemed more timid somehow, scared even. As Lucas watched her now, he could see her rubbing her hands together nervously in her lap.

After a moment of silence, Lucas decided to clear his throat and attempt to ease the tension that seemed to be falling over the room.

"Carly…" Lucas said, trying to get Brooke to relax a little bit and talk to him. "She seems really nice. How long have you known her?"

"Since high school," Brooke said, a confused look on her face. "We met on my first day."

"Has she always been…uh…?" Lucas asked uncomfortably. "You know…?"

"Paralysed?" Brooke asked him, meeting his questioning gaze.

"Yeah," Lucas said swallowing.

"Uh…no," Brooke answered him quietly as she closed her eyes and dropped her head slightly. "Not always…she was…uh…she was in a car accident following graduation…lost her mom and brother as a result…"

"I'm sorry," Lucas said sincerely.

"Yeah…well…" Brooke said looking up to meet Lucas' gaze once more and realising his ploy. "That's not really what you're here to talk about is it Lucas…so, uh…so why don't you ask me what you want to know?"

Lucas seemed slightly taken aback by Brooke's bluntness, but decided that if he was ever going to get answers, now was his opportunity.

"Ok," Lucas said shifting his weight a little in his seat. "Well…I don't…I mean…you're obviously not dead…but we were told…I mean…you were dead."

Lucas paused for a moment trying to compose himself and form a coherent sentence.

"You killed yourself." Lucas finally managed after a minute. "So how're you here…now? I mean… Brooke we buried you…"

Brooke sighed heavily as she leant forward slightly in her chair. Lucas watched Brooke intently as she began to recall the events that had led them to this moment today. As he sat there Brooke told him all about the court case her father had given evidence in, about the threat to her parents life and her own and their subsequent inclusion into the witness protection programme.

Not once as Brooke retold Lucas the events that had led her to leave him and Tree Hill behind did she meet his gaze. Instead, Brooke had found it easier to stare blankly at the floor before her and avoid the look of hurt that she was certain she would find on Lucas' face.

When she'd finished, Brooke finally looked up from the spot she'd been staring at on the floor and met Lucas' puzzled gaze. For a moment, Lucas didn't respond to Brooke's version of events, instead taking some time to absorb all the information he'd just been given.

"Lucas, say something," Brooke prompted desperately after another minute of silence had passed.

"I…uh," Lucas tried still slightly shocked from Brooke's story. "What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know," Brooke answered honestly. "Anything."

Brooke watched Lucas closely as he stood up slowly from his position on the sofa and began pacing back and forth once more across her lounge.

"I don't understand," Lucas finally said as he continued to walk up and down the lounge before Brooke. "You entered witness protection?"

"Yes," Brooke said standing from her seat and approaching where Lucas was pacing. "I didn't want to, but my parents convinced me it was the best thing to do for everyone. That by staying in Tree Hill, I'd be putting everyone else at risk…you, Peyton and everyone else that I cared about. I couldn't do that Lucas, I couldn't spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder worrying."

"But you could have just left," Lucas said watching as Brooke neared him. "You could have made an excuse and just moved away. Why did you have to go through with this charade, huh? Do you have any idea what we went through following your 'death'?"

"I couldn't just leave Lucas, alright? You would have wanted to stay in contact…" Brooke said quietly.

"You could have told us what was going on?" Lucas said raising his voice slightly. "Don't you think we'd have understood?"

"Do you think this was easy for me?" Brooke said feeling anger rising within her. "I had to leave everything and everyone that ever meant anything to me and start over again."

"But that was your choice Brooke!" Lucas said shouting again. "No one made you leave, ok? I would have protected you. Hell I would have come with you if you'd asked me!"

"I couldn't ask you to do that Lucas!" Brooke yelled back. "To give up everything and come with me. Everyone that you loved, that you cared about, your mum, Keith, Nathan, Haley…were all in Tree Hill. I thought I was doing the right thing, all right. I thought it would be easier this way."

"For who?" Lucas shouted angrily. "For you? Because trust me Brooke what we went through, what I went through was anything but easy…I mean Peyton tried to kill herself for God's sake!"

"What?" Brooke asked quietly, a look of horror on her face and shock in her voice.

"After you 'died' Peyton…she closed herself off…from me…and everyone else…she just…gave up." Lucas said remembering the months following Brooke's death. "She wouldn't leave her room…she just stayed in her house alone."

Lucas swallowed hard before continuing.

"Her dad was still out at sea…she didn't feel like she had anyone left…then one day I went round to her house…I found her lying on her bedroom floor," Lucas said sadly. "She'd slit her wrists Brooke…she was lying in a pool of blood…and on the bed was a note that said, 'People Always Leave. I guess now it's my turn'."

Lucas saw the tears that were slowly starting to form in the corners of Brooke's eyes and took a step towards her as one trickled down her cheek.

"Is she…I mean…She's not…?" Brooke asked hesitantly wiping at her eyes.

"No," Lucas said simply continuing towards her. "She's alive, Brooke."

Lucas saw Brooke visibly heave a huge sigh of relief and had to fight the urge to pull her into a comforting embrace. As much as he wanted to be angry with Brooke after what she'd done, he just couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Deep down he knew that she'd never have done what she did if she'd known how things would end up and it was because of that he felt his anger subsiding.

"I just…this is a lot to take in Brooke," Lucas said running his hand through his hair as he spoke. "I mean I never thought I'd see you again and then…today of all days…here I am standing in your apartment building."

Lucas paused for a moment eyeing Brooke closely as she slowly sat herself back down on her sofa and rested her head dejectedly in her hands and began to shake it slowly from side to side.

Lucas a hesitant step towards her but stopped suddenly afraid that he would startle her again.

"It just doesn't make any sense ok?" Lucas said honestly. "You could have just left and not told anyone, Brooke. Why did you have to leave the way you did huh? Sure, we would have been hurt, Peyton, the others and me. However, we would have gotten over it eventually and moved on…"

"It wasn't my choice," Brooke interrupted Lucas quietly, sadness in her voice. "Lucas if I'd known Peyton would have…then I wouldn't have…I …"

Brooke paused for a moment to wipe at the tears, which were now falling more heavily from her eyes and into her lap.

"The witness protection programme…they said that…" Brooke began to explain to Lucas. "They…"

Just as Brooke was about to continue, the sound of her buzzer could be heard coming from an intercom system near the door.

Brooke ignored it and attempted to continue her explanation.

"They don't normally falsify deaths…" Brooke carried on, looking at the floor as Lucas glanced curiously towards the buzzer, which had sounded again. "But the person my father testified against…they said that we were at high risk. That the chances were he wouldn't stop looking until he found us."

Brooke paused at the sound of the buzzer once more, glancing momentarily at the intercom system before turning back to Lucas and continuing.

"They said it would be safer for us if he believed us to be dead," Brooke continued. "That the chances were he'd stop looking…"

Brooke trailed off at the sound of her buzzer once again and turned to look at the door, confusion evident on her face.

"Maybe you should get that?" Lucas said finally taking a step towards the door.

"No," Brooke said standing up from where she'd been sitting. "Lucas, there's still some things that we need to talk about."

"I've uh…There's somewhere I have to be." Lucas said hesitantly as he continued to make his way to the door.

"Lucas, you can't just leave." Brooke said in disbelief.

At Brooke's words Lucas paused momentarily before the door and turned to face her.

"I just…I need some space to get my head around everything…" Lucas said as Brooke came up to him worriedly.

"Lucas," Brooke began anxiously. "You…"

"Don't worry," Lucas said reading her thoughts and interrupting her. "I won't tell anyone Brooke…"

Following this Lucas reached towards the door handle and turned it slowly opening the door to Brooke's apartment and stepping into the corridor outside. As he looked up the corridor, Lucas noticed Carly's wheelchair as it approached the buildings door.

Brooke followed Lucas out of her apartment as he began making his way down the corridor after Carly.

"Lucas," Brooke said lunging forward and grabbing his arm.

Lucas spun around to face Brooke as he felt her hand wrap desperately around his arm.

"Can I see you again?" Brooke asked almost pleadingly. "To talk about things…please…I need to explain…there's till stuff that we need to discuss..."

"We'll see," Lucas said quietly as he reached down and removed Brooke's hand from around his and dropped it gently by her side.

"Please?" Brooke said.

"I don't know Brooke," Lucas said honestly. "I mean…"

"Mom!"

At the sound of the high-pitched voice coming from behind him, Lucas stopped suddenly mid-sentence and turned to see a small brown haired girl as she ran towards where he was standing with Brooke. Behind her Lucas could see Carly as she slowly pushed herself down the corridor after her.

Lucas watched silently as the young girl ran past him and quickly flung her arms around Brooke's waist holding onto her tightly. Brooke looked down at the young girl, an un-easy smile spreading across her face as the girl glanced up towards her and grinned widely.

"Hey sweetheart," Brooke said avoiding Lucas' stunned expression and rubbing the top of the girls' head affectionately. "I thought that you were staying at Jessica's house until half eleven?"

"That's the time now silly," Ashleigh said giggling sweetly.

"It is?" Brooke asked her daughter as she knelt down in front of her so that they were at the same level.

"Uh huh," Ashleigh said nodding her head exaggeratedly and holding her arm out in front of Brooke revealing the bright pink watch she'd given her. "See."

Brooke laughed at the sight of her daughters upside down watch.

"Did you put that on yourself this morning?" Brooke asked her as she continued to laugh.

"Yep," Ashleigh said proudly.

Brooke was about to say something in response to her daughters' words, when she saw Carly stop alongside where Lucas was standing his mouth shock evident on his face as he watched Brooke and Ashleigh.

"Hey," Carly said holding out a small holdall for Brooke to take. "Anne said that she tried buzzing your apartment but no one was answering so she tried me instead."

Brooke took the holdall from Carly who was looking at Lucas curiously and sensing that maybe they'd interrupted something.

"Thanks," Brooke said to her friend as she stood up and put the holdall over her shoulder.

"Hey Ash sweety," Carly said leaning forward and gesturing for Ashleigh to come over to her. "You want to come to mine and have a hot chocolate?"

At the offer a huge smile spread across Ashleigh's face and she jump up and down excitedly as she walked over to Carly.

"With marshmallows?" Ashleigh asked Carly as she held onto the side of Carly's wheelchair.

"Of course," Carly said sticking her tongue out at her. "It's not hot chocolate if it doesn't have marshmallows."

Ashleigh stuck her tongue back out at Carly and giggled again.

"Tell you what?" Carly said smiling at Ashleigh. "Why don't we race there? Give your mom some time to talk to her friend here… I bet you can't beat me."

"I can too," Ashleigh said. "You're a slow poke aunt Carly."

"I am?" Carly asked playfully.

Ashleigh nodded in response.

"Ok," Carly said playing along. "Then prove it."

"I will," Ashleigh said as she turned around and ran quickly towards Carly's apartment.

Brooke mouth a quick 'thank you' to Carly before she began making her way up the corridor after the young girl.

Lucas watched after the pair of them questioningly until they disappeared out of view before finally turning his attention back to Brooke.

"Lucas," she said trying to explain.

"How old is she?" Lucas asked swallowing hard.

Brooke avoided Lucas' glanced by looking momentarily towards the floor.

"She's…." Brooke began hesitantly. "She's almost five."

Lucas took a step back from Brooke at the revelation.

"Is she…I mean…who's…?" Lucas stuttered incoherently.

Brooke looked up to meet Lucas' gaze once more and he read the expression in her eyes.

"Jesus," Lucas said as he placed a hand over his mouth and took another step back.

"Lucas…" Brooke tried again taking a step towards him and reaching out her hand in an attempt to place it on his shoulder.

Lucas put both his hands up in front of his body and continued to move away from Brooke.

"Brooke... don't," Lucas, said shock evident in his expression, his hands still up defensively in front of him. "Just…don't..."

As Lucas trailed off he turned away from Brooke and made his way down the corridor towards the building entrance. Brooke watched wordlessly as Lucas opened the door and disappeared through it. Slowly Brooke ran her hand through her hair, tears once again in her eyes as she watched the door close shut and click back into place.


	7. Chapter 7

As Brooke began to make her way back up the corridor towards Carly's apartment, she wiped furiously at her eyes to rid the tears, which had formed there at Lucas' departure. Since Ashleigh had been born, Brooke had dreamt of Lucas finally finding out the truth about his daughter. However, as much as Brooke had wanted to tell him, she knew she couldn't and so Ashleigh had grown up these past few years not knowing who her father was.

Following the discussion with Lucas in her apartment only moments ago, Brooke had been desperate to tell him about Ashleigh. However, Lucas' sudden desire to leave had prevented her from going through with it. Lucas had told Brooke that he had somewhere to be, that he needed some space to think. Brooke understood how Lucas must've have felt following the news that she was still alive, however she'd hoped to convince him to return later so that they could talk some more. So that she could tell him about his daughter.

After all, Brooke felt there was no point in keeping it from him anymore. Especially now that he'd already discovered her existence. As much as Brooke wanted to tell Lucas about their daughter, she would never have wished for him to find out the way he had.

Standing outside Carly's apartment door, Brooke cursed herself inwardly at how she'd handled things with Lucas. She felt as though she should have explained things better or prevented him from leaving so that they could talk properly. Instead, Brooke had let Lucas leave and now she wasn't sure she would ever see him again.

Brooke took a moment whilst she was standing outside her best friends apartment to compose herself, wiping at her eyes once more in an attempt to disguise the face that she'd been crying. After Brooke felt herself begin to calm, she sighed heavily and reached for the door handle, turning it slowly as she pushed Carly's door open.

As she stepped into her friends' apartment, Brooke noticed Ashleigh sitting on a stool at the modified kitchen counter drawing, whilst Carly was preparing a drink for the two of them.

"Don't you knock?" Carly asked smiling as she noticed Brooke standing in her doorway.

"Not on your door," Brooke answered feeling herself laugh slightly despite her mood as she stepped into the room and closed the door behind her.

"Well what kind of example is that to set for your daughter?" Carly asked preparing another cup for Brooke whilst she waited for the kettle to boil.

Brooke approached where Carly was in the kitchen, stopping beside Ashleigh and stroking the top of her head affectionately as she looked at the picture she was drawing.

"I don't know," Brooke said as Ashleigh continued eagerly with her drawing. "Maybe if you didn't choose to ignore me when I knocked, I'd be setting a better example for her."

"Maybe…" Carly said sarcastically as she handed Brooke a mug of coffee.

"If I promise to start knocking on your door will you promise to answer it?" Brooke asked placing the mug on the counter beside Ashleigh.

"I'll see," Carly answered teasingly.

"You are so annoying," Brooke laughed taking the mug of hot chocolate that Carly handed to her and placing it next to her coffee on the counter. "I swear sometimes you're worse than Ashleigh is."

Carly smiled as she turned to face Brooke and began to manoeuvre herself towards the lowered counter where Ashleigh was sitting drawing.

"What are you drawing?" Carly asked as she glanced at the picture Ashleigh was carefully colouring in.

"You," Ashleigh said sitting up slightly to look at Carly.

Carly frowned slightly at the drawing as Brooke leant over to get a better look at it.

"What's this?" Brooke asked Ashleigh as she pointed at something drawn on the page.

"It's aunt Carly's wheelchair," Ashleigh answered looking up at her mom. "See… its rocket powered so that she goes faster."

"That would be so cool," Carly said taking a sip of her drink.

"You're such a kid," Brooke said laughing at her friend.

"I know," Carly said smiling. "It's part of my charm."

"Please tell me that you aren't drinking hot chocolate?" Brooke asked laughing.

"I don't like coffee," Carly answered simply informing Brooke that she was.

"You drink coffee all the time," Brooke laughed.

"What exactly is wrong with hot chocolate?" Carly asked Brooke.

"Nothing," Ashleigh answered excitedly as she looked up from completing her picture to glance between her mom and Carly.

"Thanks Ash," Carly said smiling as she held up her free hand in front of the young girl.

Ashleigh quickly high fived Carly causing Brooke to roll her eyes.

"I give up." Brooke said in defeat as Ashleigh glanced up at her.

"Mom, do you like my drawing?" Ashleigh asked holding up her picture now that she'd finished it.

"It's really nice sweetheart," Brooke said kissing Ashleigh on the forehead affectionately and stroking her hair with her free hand.

"You know you can sit down?" Carly asked noticing that Brooke was still standing beside Ashleigh.

"Thanks," Brooke said sarcastically sensing the hint of mockery in Carly's voice. "But we aren't staying long."

"Why not?" Carly asked raising her eyebrow suggestively. "Have you got a better offer? Say a tall blonde?"

"No," Brooke answered seriously. "I just thought you might have work to do."

"Brooke I'm a freelance copyeditor." Carly, answered matter of factly. "I work when I want to. So…that means I'm free for the rest of the day…you know…in case you want to talk or something."

"What makes you think I'd want to talk about anything?" Brooke asked hesitantly.

"I don't know," Carly said simply. "You just look like there's something you want to get off your chest."

At Carly's words, Brooke took another sip of her drink, secretly grateful that her friend was able to read her so easily.

"Shall I take your silence as a 'yes'?" Carly asked knowingly.

"How do you do that?" Brooke asked as she finally lowered her mug from her lips. "How can you just tell something is wrong by looking at me?"

"I'm a superhero," Carly said meeting Ashleigh's questioning gaze.

"Really?" Ashleigh asked animatedly.

"Carly," Brooke protested.

"What?" Carly asked light-heartedly. "I could be a superhero…they look just like normal people during the day you know?"

"That's true," Ashleigh agreed excitedly.

"Can you be serious for a minute?" Brooke asked laughing slightly despite her frustration.

"I can try," Carly answered throwing a quick glance at Ashleigh and sticking her tongue out at the girl.

Ashleigh giggled at Carly as she continued.

"But do you really want to do this in front of Ash?" Carly asked seriously. "I mean, I'm right to assume it's about your…umm…'friend' aren't I?"

"Where's your friend gone mommy?" Ashleigh asked looking at Brooke as though suddenly realising the man was no longer with her.

Brooke glanced towards Carly for help but her friend just held her hand out in front of her and gave her an 'I told you so' look.

"Uh…he had to go home sweetheart." Brooke answered stroking Ashleigh's hair again with her hand.

"Is he going to come round again?" Ashleigh asked as she reached for another sheet of paper in front of her. "You know, like your other friends?"

"I don't think so," Brooke answered throwing a meaningful look at Carly.

Carly frowned slightly in confusion as Ashleigh spoke again.

"Is he like Michael?" Ashleigh asked distractedly as she begun drawing a new picture.

"No sweety," Carly answered as Ashleigh looked up from what she was doing to meet her gaze. "Michael was a jerk."

"Carly!?," Brooke interrupted quickly still surprised by her daughters previous question.

"What?" Carly asked defensively. "He was a jerk."

"What's a jerk?" Ashleigh asked puzzled.

Brooke glared at Carly as she attempted to answer.

"Uh…its…" Brooke stuttered trying to find the right words to explain the words meaning to her daughter.

"It's someone that's not very nice," Carly said simply.

"Carly," Brooke protested again.

"She needs to learn Brooke," Carly justified.

"Not before she's five," Brooke defended.

"She's smart for her age." Carly countered. "Besides she never liked him anyway."

"How do you know that?" Brooke asked surprised.

"Hey Ash," Carly said turning towards the youngster. "Did you like Michael?"

"No," Ashleigh answered simply. "He made mom sad."

"See," Carly said triumphantly.

"Sweety how come you never told me that when I asked you?" Brooke asked ignoring Carly and feeling upset by her daughters' words.

Ashleigh shrugged.

Brooke looked towards Carly with shock evident on her face.

"Did you know about this when I was dating him?" Brooke asked her friend.

"I told you how Ash felt," Carly said defensively.

"No you didn't," Brooke said trying to think back.

"Yes I did," Carly, said convinced. "It was about the time I told you to kick him out."

"I think I'd remember if you'd told me something like that Carly." Brooke said disbelievingly. "I'd never stay with someone that Ashleigh didn't like…she comes first."

"I don't want to fight about this," Carly said backing away from the conversation and moving herself away from Ashleigh further into the lounge.

"No," Brooke said walking round to where Carly was and glancing momentarily at Ashleigh who was busy once again with her drawing. "You've never mentioned that to me before. I'd remember."

"Not necessarily." Carly said under her breath to prevent Ashleigh from hearing. "Not if you had concussion again because that asshole had felt the need to knock you about."

"That was an accident," Brooke said through gritted teeth. "I explained what happened to you."

"Really?" Carly asked laughing to herself. "Well was it an accident that time he broke your wrist…or when he almost fractured your ribs?"

"Carly…" Brooke began.

"Why are you still trying to defend him?" Carly asked in disbelief.

"He couldn't help himself alright," Brooke answered quietly. "He didn't know what he was doing…"

"Michael had a temper Brooke," Carly said derisively. "It didn't mean he wasn't accountable for his actions."

"Well he's gone now," Brooke said. "But maybe he would have been out of my life quicker if you'd told me about how Ash felt towards him. You could have helped me out a little."

"That's not fair," Carly said hurt. "Who are you kidding Brooke huh? You'd never have kicked him out…you kept taking him back time and time again knowing what he did to you…"

"I wouldn't have put Ashleigh at risk," Brooke said defensively.

"That's crap Brooke," Carly said raising her voice slightly. "You knew what he was like and still you let him stay with you. Everyday you allowed him to live there you were putting her at risk."

"He'd never have touched her," Brooke said unconvincingly.

"You don't know that," Carly said getting angry now. "If it wasn't for me calling the cops, he'd probably still be living there now."

Brooke ran her hand through her hair as she tried to compose herself.

"I wouldn't take him back again now," Brooke said more calmly then before.

"Well thank God," Carly said sarcastically still hurt by Brooke's earlier comments.

Hearing Carly's tone and realising that her anger towards her friend had been unwarranted, Brooke was suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of guilt.

"Carly," Brooke said sighing heavily. "I'm so sorry, ok? …I just…you have no idea what today has been like for me? Everything is just…I'm a mess alright and there's no excuse for how I treated you."

Carly seemed to think about Brooke's words for a moment before answering.

"Look," Carly said feigning a calmness she wasn't feeling. "I don't know what's going on with you and Lucas…alright? Personally, right now I don't care…"

"Carly…" Brooke interrupted in an attempt to apologise and feeling awful for how she'd just treated her friend.

"Just… sort it out Brooke," Carly said simply. "If not for the pair of you, or the sake of our friendship… apparently, then do it for Ash huh?

"I can't," Brooke, said frustrated. "I have no idea how to contact him…"

"Not that you deserve it right now," Carly said watching Brooke closely. "But what if I told you that I could help you out?"

"How?" Brooke asked.

"He mentioned before that he's staying in town…" Carly began pausing to recall what Lucas had told her earlier. "At the Carlton Hotel…room number…209…I think."

"You think?" Brooke asked at Carly's hesitance.

Carly threw Brooke a meaningful glance.

"Never mind…" Brooke said quickly turning towards Ashleigh. "That's great thank you."

"Leave Ashleigh here," Carly said as Brooke made her way towards her daughter. "I'll keep an eye on her for you."

"Really?" Brooke asked surprised by Carly's generosity in light of her recent behaviour.

"Yeah," Carly said smiling at Brooke. "I'm not mad at her."

"Thank you," Brooke said kissing Ashleigh on top of the head causing her to glance questioningly at her mom. "I seriously owe you for this Carly. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"Just…. get out of here." Carly said laughing slightly as Brooke made her way towards the door.

"You really are a superhero," Brooke laughed as she opened the door quickly and glanced back towards her friend.

"I told you," Carly said light-heartedly. "Now would you seriously go."

"Ok," Brooke said throwing one last look at Ashleigh who was watching her interestedly. "Wish me luck."

"Good luck mom," Ashleigh said excitedly despite the fact she didn't know what was going on.

"What she said," Carly agreed as Brooke disappeared through the door and closed it shut behind her.

When she'd gone, Ashleigh turned to Carly who was watching her closely.

"Where's mom gone?" Ashleigh asked confused.

"I sent her on a mission," Carly said making her way towards the young girl.

"Will she get to use your costume?" Ashleigh asked smiling.

"Costume?" Carly asked laughing.

"Uh huh," Ashleigh said nodding her head exaggeratedly. "You know you're superhero costume."

Ashleigh held up a picture she'd been working on before adding, "like this."

"Oh that," Carly said pulling up alongside Ashleigh. "I don't think it will fit her."

Ashleigh put the paper back on the counter before Carly continued.

"You really think pink is my colour?" Carly asked looking more closely at the picture.

"Yep," Ashleigh said giggling as she looked at Carly.

"Well you are the designers daughter," Carly said laughing and stroking Ashleigh on the head as she continued colouring in her drawing.


	8. Chapter 8

Following his departure from Brooke's apartment earlier, Lucas had allowed the building's door to close slowly behind him before gently resting his back against it for support. Twenty-four hours ago, Lucas knew exactly who he was, exactly what he wanted from his life. Today he was finally achieving his dream of becoming a published author and following his book signing he was supposed to return to North Carolina to the apartment he shared with his fiancée.

However, one moment had changed everything. The impromptu decision to get a coffee before he made his way towards the store that was launching his book had reconnected him with the one person that he'd never forgotten, the one person that he could never quite let go.

As he'd stood outside Brooke's apartment, Lucas sighed heavily trying to get his head around the numerous surprises that he'd received today. His mind was in a silent war with his heart. His mind was telling him that he should carry on as though nothing had happened, that he should be livid with Brooke and that allowing her back into his life would only disrupt it once again after he'd finally been able to make something of it and move on.

However, his heart wouldn't let him deny everything he'd felt for Brooke, forget the way she'd made him feel, the way she still made him feel. Now that he knew the truth, Lucas understood that he couldn't continue to pretend that she'd died all those years ago. There was no going back now, only forward. Slowly Lucas had turned around, his hand hovering mere inches from the buzzer to Brooke's apartment, his head leaning despairingly against the door.

He'd wanted so much to be angry Brooke for throwing his life into turmoil as she had, in fact he was angry at her deception over the last five-years. However, as he'd stood outside her building, Lucas struggled against the compulsion to re-enter the building. Inwardly he fought the old feelings for Brooke, which had never truly disappeared. The urge to look once more upon the face that he'd missed for the last five years, to once again feel the touch of her soft skin against his hand, to sense the warmth of her breath on his neck, the comfort of her embrace.

However, Lucas had somewhere that he needed to be and as much as it hated to leave things unresolved with Brooke he just couldn't bring himself to see her at this moment. Slowly Lucas turned and made his way down the steps leading to her apartment building and began to make his way up the crowded streets of New York toward the launch of his book.

As Lucas made his way through the throngs of people moving about him, he found himself getting lost in the events of today. This morning he'd been completely unaware of the fact that he had a daughter and although the revelation had initially come as a shock, he was becoming more and more enamoured with the idea with each step he took.

Slowly walking towards his book signing, Lucas couldn't help but remember the animated face of the five-year-old girl, the way she giggled light-heartedly with Carly and the loveable way she'd put her watch on upside down.

The young girl was every bit her mothers daughter, with her dark brown hair and her adorable dimples. When he'd first laid eyes on Brooke's daughter, Lucas had no doubt that the girl probably looked exactly as her mother had at her age and he found himself imagining if the likeness would continue as she grew older.

As he found himself remembering Brooke's daughter, his daughter, Lucas couldn't help but smile. Even though he'd only seen his daughter once, just the memory was enough to overwhelm him with a feeling of pride, to fill his heart with the ache of love. He was a father and even though he'd not been involved in her life thus far, Lucas vowed to himself that from now on he would be.

Throughout his book signing, Lucas had been distracted with thoughts of his daughter. Even though he'd tried his best to be welcoming and grateful to those who'd turned up to the launch of his book he couldn't stop himself from thinking about that moment back in the corridor of Brooke's apartment when he'd first seen her.

The signing had passed by quickly; time being consumed by thoughts of his daughter, of how his life would change for the better now that she would be a part of it. Lucas imagined the moments that they would share together, them playing on the beach together or visiting the zoo, him talking to her about all the different animals that they'd seen. He pictured the first time he'd introduce her to his mom and Keith, how they'd be shocked initially but soon come to fall in love with her…

_But he couldn't introduce her to Keith or his mom. _Lucas thought. _Not without revealing the fact that Brooke has been alive all these years and jeopardising both her's and Ashleigh's safety._

As Lucas made his way back towards his hotel and ominous feeling overwhelmed him. It had been three hours since Lucas had left Brooke standing alone in the corridor of her apartment building. Three hours since he'd discovered the woman that he loved, the woman that he thought he'd lost five years ago had a daughter. It had been three hours since Lucas' world had been turned upside down and he'd learnt that he was a father. Three hours since he'd decided that he wanted to be a part of his daughters' life.

Now, however, Lucas had realised that maybe he wouldn't be able to be a part of her life. That he'd never be able to follow through and experience the moments that he'd spent the afternoon imagining. _What if Brooke didn't want Lucas to be a part of Ashleigh's life? What if Ashleigh didn't want to know him?_

Lucas shook his head slowly from side to side in an attempt to rid himself of these thoughts and be more optimistic.

_Brooke wouldn't keep his daughter from him… _Lucas thought. _Not after everything that had happened today, not now that he finally knew the truth. Surely him and Brooke could come to some agreement that would work for everyone._

Although Lucas was trying to stay positive about everything as he stepped into his hotel and made his way to the reception to collect his cardkey, he couldn't help feeling that his mood had decidedly altered since the book signing, since he'd realised the limitations of Brooke's situation.

Lucas thanked the concierge as he handed him his room cardkey and turned to go back to his room. As he looked up, Lucas noticed Brooke facing him having stood up from where she'd been sitting on a sofa in the foyer.

"Brooke?" Lucas said questioningly as he made his way towards her.

"Hey," Brooke said hesitantly as she met him halfway. "I hope you don't mind me coming, I uh, I just hated how we left things and I thought maybe we could talk."

"How did you know I was here?" Lucas asked surprised.

"Carly," Brooke said laughing slightly to herself. "She must have a photographic memory or something, she said you'd told her earlier…"

Brooke trailed off trying to read Lucas' distant expression. She understood that he must be upset after finally finding out the truth all these years and she wouldn't blame him if he never wanted to see her again. However, Brooke hoped that Lucas would at least here her out so that they can resolve things between them and part on friendly terms.

For a moment, silence passed between the two of them, neither Lucas nor Brooke saying a word until Brooke prompted.

"So…" she started uncertainly. "What do you think? Can we talk?"

Lucas was pulled out of his thoughts by her words a small smile appearing on his face.

"Sure," Lucas said, gesturing for her to follow him to his room.

Side by side the two of them slowly climbed the stairs, Lucas leading the way to his room in silence and Brooke following behind him. Once they reached the second floor Lucas waited for Brooke to catch up and together they walked to his room.

"This is it," Lucas said pausing in front of a white door with the number 209 in gold painted on it.

Lucas placed his cardkey into the lock and waited a moment for the green light to appear to show it had been accepted. When it did, Lucas reached down for the door handle and pushed the door inwards, motioning for Brooke to enter.

"Thanks," Brooke said looking at Lucas as she passed him into the room.

Lucas waited until Brooke was inside before following after her and closing the door firmly behind them. Once inside, Lucas threw his key onto the bed and watched Brooke as she took in the room around her.

As Brooke turned back to face Lucas she saw him perch onto the edge of the bed.

"How long have you been waiting downstairs?" Lucas asked interestedly as Brooke moved the chair by the dresser and sat down in front of him.

"Uh…a couple of hours," Brooke answered truthfully.

"I'm sorry," Lucas said sincerely. "If I'd known you'd been here I would have sent a message or come back…"

"It's ok," Brooke said avoiding Lucas' gaze and fiddling with her hands in her lap. "This is all my fault…I just…I felt awful for leaving things like that between us. I should have come after you…"

Brooke paused for a moment to meet Lucas' gaze before continuing.

"I mean you must have a lot of question you want answered." Brooke said matter of factly. "I at least owe you the opportunity to ask, to find out what you want to know."

Lucas smiled at Brooke's words.

"Thank you," he said genuinely. "I really appreciate that."

When Lucas had talked to Brooke earlier, everything had been so overwhelming that he'd struggled to control his anger towards her, had difficulty accepting the truth, that she'd deceived him all these years. However, as Lucas sat before Brooke now, he felt calm, comfortable.

He didn't know what had changed since their earlier meeting. Perhaps the time alone to think about everything had helped Lucas accept the situation better, given him a new perspective on things. Maybe the knowledge that Brooke was a mother, that she was _the_ mother of his child had altered his feelings towards her, had made him more appreciative of how difficult the situation must have been for her.

Lucas wasn't certain what had caused this change in atmosphere between the two of them from earlier, what had skewed his perceptions but he actually felt bad for Brooke, for the choice she was faced with. Sitting here with her now, he could honestly say that had he been put in the same situation as her, he wouldn't have known what to do.

"So what do you want to know?" Brooke asked Lucas, interrupting his thoughts.

"I want to know about Ashleigh if that's alright?" Lucas asked, smiling at the memory of his daughters face. "Where is she at the moment?"

"She's with Carly," Brooke said laughing as she reached into her purse and pulled out a picture that she handed to Lucas. "No doubt causing havoc as usual."

Lucas looked at the picture closely, rubbing the area above Ashleigh's face with his thumb affectionately. The picture showed the young girl lying on her stomach amongst a multitude of toys scattered across the floor of what appeared to be Brooke's apartment. She was eating an ice-cream cone, the majority of the contents around her mouth.

"She looks like she can be a handful," Lucas laughed still looking at the picture.

"Well Carly doesn't help matters," Brooke said laughing, her smile reaching from ear to ear. "I swear most of the time it's like having two kids when the pair of them are together."

"They seem to get on well," Lucas noted from their interaction he'd seen between them earlier.

"Yeah they do," Brooke said. "Carly's just a big kid and she works from home a lot. She looks after Ashleigh for me while I'm at work. They spend a lot of time together."

"She looks just like you," Lucas said passing the picture back to Brooke. "I can imagine you looking exactly like her when you were that age."

Brooke waved off the picture causing Lucas to frown,

"You keep it," she said placing her hand on top of his lightly.

"Are you sure?" Lucas asked surprised, his hand tingling excitedly from the touch of Brooke's on it.

"Yeah," Brooke said removing her hand and adjusting her position in the chair to make herself more comfortable. "I've got another copy at home."

"Thank you," Lucas said sincerely looking at the picture in his hands once more.

For a moment neither of them said anything, Brooke watching Lucas closely from her seat as she watched him study the photograph of their daughter once more.

"Listen," Brooke said quietly regret evident in her voice. "I'm sorry for the way you found out about Ashleigh…for everything really. I know that none of this can be easy for you."

Lucas glanced up at Brooke's words, an understanding look on his face.

"It's ok," Lucas said honestly. "I know you never meant for me to find out like that…I guess it's been kind of a hard day for both of us. I mean, it's not like you were expecting me to come crashing back into your life the way I did."

"It was kind of a shock," Brooke admitted laughing.

"I'm sorry too," Lucas said glancing down at the floor, ashamed.

Brooke frowned in confusion at his apology.

"What for?" She asked puzzled.

Lucas met her gaze once again before answering.

"I over-reacted earlier." He said simply. "I shouldn't have shouted at you like I did…"

"Lucas," Brooke interrupted him. "You don't need to apologise for that. I completely understand why you did. If it had been the other way around I probably would have pummelled you in the face."

Lucas laughed at the thought, remembering how she'd punched Rachel in the face after finding her half-naked in the back of his car.

"That's true," he conceded. "But still, I was just hurt before, my pride more than anything I guess. Finding out I'd been lied to the last five years…I think I was mad at myself for not realising I'd been deceived more then anything, you know."

Lucas paused for a moment, meeting Brooke's gaze evenly and staring deeply into her eyes before continuing.

"This afternoon I've had some time to think about what it must have been like for you," Lucas continued. "Especially after you found out you were pregnant. I don't know what I would have done if I'd been in your shoes."

"You don't have to say that," Brooke said looking at Lucas with scepticism.

"I'm not," Lucas said sincerely. "You said that it wasn't your choice to leave under the pretence that you did…and I believe that. I know you'd never intentionally do anything to hurt us, especially Peyton. You thought you were doing what was right. I see that now."

Brooke smiled at Lucas gratefully, tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes at the relief that he was seemingly making peace with what had happened and that they were talking properly for the first time since this morning.

"Thank you," she said her voice hoarse with the sudden emotion that she felt.

Lucas smiled at her before glancing back down at the picture in his hands.

"I wish I was there when she was born," Lucas said rubbing the picture with his thumb once again. "What was it like?"

"Scary," Brooke admitted, "I thought it would never end and then when it finally did, I couldn't believe that she was mine…ours" Brooke corrected looking at him. "She was so small and I remember counting all her fingers and toes whilst I was holding her in my arms. I burst into tears of course. I mean, I can't even handle a wedding so you can imagine what I was like."

Brooke paused for a moment, smiling to herself at the memory as Lucas continued to look at the picture.

"I remember wishing that you'd been there with me," Brooke continued, causing Lucas to look up. "That you should have been there."

"Who was with you?" Lucas asked, his words catching in his throat with sadness as he thought about what he'd missed.

"My mom," Brooke answered wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand to dry them.

Lucas didn't respond to Brooke's words, instead looking back at the picture of his daughter.

"What's she like?" Lucas asked curiously, changing the subject.

"Amazing," Brooke answered smiling to herself as she spoke. "Everything interests her, you know. She wants to know about everything. She's constantly asking questions and she loves books."

Brooke paused for a moment, Lucas watching her with interest.

"I guess she's like her dad when it comes to literature." Brooke continued. "She's like you in a lot of ways, kind…caring…smart."

Lucas smiled at her as she went on.

"She's full of energy all the time, mostly because Carly riles her up and then hands her back," Brooke said laughing. "Her favourite colour is pink, her favourite animals are cats…. or kittens to be more precise. She always sleeps with this cuddly toy that my mom bought her when she was born."

Brooke watched Lucas as he shifted position on the bed. He was listening intently to everything she was saying, trying to commit what he learnt about his daughter to memory.

"It's this fluffy orange kitten," Brooke continued recalling it in her memory. "It goes everywhere with her, so I end up washing it a lot. She loves to drink chocolate milk, but she hasn't quite mastered the art of avoiding a chocolate moustache."

Lucas laughed as he imagined the scene in his head.

"She loves to draw," Brooke carried on. "It always reminds me of Peyton when I see Ashleigh with her crayons in hand and I imagine what it would be like if they'd ever met, you know. I can see them spending hours together just drawing or painting."

Lucas saw a flash of sadness cross Brooke's face as she said this and glanced down at the floor before her, once again fiddling with her hands in her lap.

"She hasn't quite grasped the concept of not drawing on the walls yet," Brooke said sadly still avoiding Lucas gaze and staring at her feet. "So every morning when I go in her room I'm greeted with a new picture on the wall."

Brooke looked back up to meet Lucas' gaze her tone turning more serious.

"You should meet her," Brooke said nodding her head slightly. "I want you to meet her."

This time it was Lucas' turn to avoid Brooke's glance, however instead of glancing at the floor he looked to the picture of his daughter in his hands.

"I don't know," Lucas said hesitantly looking back up at Brooke again.

"Don't you want to?" Brooke asked confusion evident on her expression.

"It's not that," Lucas answered sadly. "It's just, with you here…the witness protection and everything…things are going to be complicated."

"You're right," Brooke sighed understanding Lucas' hesitation, "But still, you should meet her Lucas."

"How am I going to explain it to everyone back home Brooke?" Lucas asked questioningly. "I won't be able to introduce her to anyone at home or take her there on vacation. People would ask about her mother, they'd soon realise something's not right, maybe even put the pieces together, and figure out the dates."

"We can take things one step at a time, figure something out…" Brooke suggested. "I want you to be part of her life now that you know about her. You can come up and visit her… at least until we figure something out. I know it's not ideal, but it's a start."

Lucas considered Brooke's words for a moment. The fact that she was not just willing to allow him contact with Ashleigh, but the fact that she wanted him to be part of her life was a huge relief. He'd been worried earlier that Brooke would not want him around, that it would complicate things too much, but she was prepared to give it a chance and play it by ear. Hearing her say that had made him happier than he'd been in ages. Perhaps he would get a chance to take Ashleigh to the zoo as he'd imagined earlier.

When Lucas didn't answer for a while Brooke prompted him.

"What do you think?" She asked tentatively.

"I'd love to meet her," Lucas said meeting her anxious gaze and smiling. "I mean… if it's really ok with you?" He added not wanting to appear too eager and make Brooke change her mind.

A large smile spread across Brooke's face at his words and Lucas couldn't help but smile back.

"Ok then," Brooke said standing from her seat. "Are you busy now?"

Lucas stood from his seat, fear suddenly enveloping him.

"Now?" He asked worried. "Like, right now."

"Yeah," Brooke answered noting his apprehensiveness. "No time like the present."

"Well… who do I tell her I am?" Lucas asked nervously as Brooke made her way towards the door. "I mean…does she know about me?"

"That's up to you," She answered, turning around to face him. "She knows who you are Lucas," Brooke continued taking a comforting step towards him and placing a reassuring hand on his arm. " She asked me once about her dad after staying at her friends house and I told her about you. I told her that her dad was someone I loved, that loves her very much but couldn't be with us right now because he lived somewhere else."

"Right," Lucas said slightly surprised by Brooke's response and the kindness of what she'd told her daughter. "What were you planning on telling her when she grew up?" Lucas asked intrigued. "I mean, when I never got in contact with her and she wondered why?"

"To be honest," Brooke answered smiling. "I hadn't thought that far ahead."

At this Lucas nodded, accepting Brooke's answer to his question.

"So…" Brooke teased slightly. "Do you want to do this?"

"Yeah," Lucas answered nodding his head as his confidence grew and looking at Brooke. "But…do you mind if I don't tell her who I am today?"

"Ok," Brooke said understandingly.

"I just…maybe it'll be better if we give her some time to get to know me before we ambush her with the fact that I'm her dad." Lucas elaborated.

"Lucas," Brooke said laughing as she placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's fine, honestly. I'll just introduce you as my friend. You're in control here ok? I'll let you build a relationship with her in your own time and in your own way."

"Thanks," Lucas said feeling himself relax slightly.

"No problem," Brooke said as she began to make her way towards the door.

When she reached it, Brooke took the handle and opened it slowly, watching Lucas as he picked up the cardkey from his bed and followed after her. Once outside his room, Lucas made sure that the door closed properly before making his way downstairs into the lobby and make his way to meet his daughter properly for the first time.


	9. Chapter 9

On reaching Brooke's apartment building, Lucas felt his stomach tie in knots at the thought of meeting his daughter properly for the first time in both his and her life. He waited anxiously as Brooke searched in her bag for the door key, exhaling slowly and meaningfully as she slid it into the lock and turned it purposefully.

Slowly Brooke pulled the door open, holding it wide and gesturing for Lucas to enter the building before her. Nervously, Lucas stepped into the foyer he remembered vividly from earlier that day and waited for Brooke to follow after him.

Finally Brooke crossed the threshold into the building, smiling at Lucas as she approached him and noticed the restless look upon his face.

"Are you nervous?" Brooke asked him, placing a comforting hand on his arm.

"Terrified," Lucas admitted honestly.

"Trust me," Brooke replied as she started to make her way up the corridor to her building, Lucas following at her side. "You have nothing to worry about. She's going to love you."

"You think?" Lucas questioned with concern. "I mean what if we don't get on or we have nothing to talk about?"

"I'm sure you'll think of something." Brooke reassured him as she passed the door to her apartment and paused momentarily outside Carly's. "Chances are that once you're inside you won't be able to get a word in anyway. Ashleigh will take care of that for you."

"Right," Lucas said, nodding to himself. "Ok sure, yeah, I can do this. It's not a big deal."

Brooke smiled as she watched Lucas' attempt to reassure himself.

"Are you ready?" Brooke asked watching closely as Lucas exhaled loudly and shook his hands out before him.

"As I'll ever be," he replied uncertainly.

"Ok then," Brooke said reaching for the door handle and turning it slowly.

Gently Brooke leaned her weight into the door, pushing it open to reveal the room of the other side.

"He-yyy" Brooke said, elongating the word in disbelief as she took in the scene before her.

As Lucas stepped into the room behind the brunette he couldn't help but let a small smile creep across his face at the sight before him.

Carly's apartment looked as though it had been at the epicentre of an earthquake. Pots and pans from the kitchen were strewn all across the floor, paint covering almost every surface in sight including both his daughter and her caretaker.

Over by the kitchen area, Ashleigh was sitting in Carly's lap, paint covering her denim dungarees and face, a wooden spoon in her hand which was hovering just above the top of Carly's pan covered head.

As her gaze fell on to Lucas, Carly raised her eyebrow knowingly a small smile creeping onto her lips. Lucas raised his hand slightly in greeting, causing Carly to nod in return, the pan slipping down slightly atop her head and covering her eyes.

Slowly, Carly pushed the pan back up to clear her vision, just as Ashleigh jumped from her lap and ran towards Brooke. As she approached Brooke, crouched down to envelope her daughter in a warm embrace, rocking the small girl gently from side to side in her arms and kissing her gently on the forehead.

"Hey mom," Ashleigh said giggling as she wiped at a spot of paint on her face with the back of her hand.

"Hey sweetheart," Brooke said in response, taking Ashleigh's hand in hers and standing back up. "Have you had a good time?"

"Uh huh," Ashleigh said nodding as Brooke swayed her daughters hand gently in her own. "We were painting."

"I can see that." Brooke said smiling at her daughter before glancing over towards her friend, who was turning the pan around on her head so that the handle face backwards.

Slowly Carly leant forward in her wheelchair, propping herself up on her elbows.

"It was Ashleigh's idea." Carly said simply, causing Brooke to laugh.

"Is that right?" Brooke asked sceptically.

"Yep," Carly replied winking at Ashleigh before leaning back in her chair again. "I was just an innocent bystander in all of this"

As she said this Carly spread her arms out before her to signify that she was talking about the mess.

"Uh huh," Brooke said dubiously. "Why don't I believe that?"

"I don't know," Carly said as she started to negotiate the obstacles on the floor around her and make her way towards Brooke. "Probably experience."

"Probably," Brooke said laughing as she glanced towards her daughter once more.

"So…" Carly said as she stopped a few inches in front of her friend. "Are you going to make introductions or just leave the poor guy standing there unnoticed?"

Brooke glanced momentarily towards Carly before quickly averting her attention to Lucas who was still watching the scene before him in amusement.

"I'm so sorry," Brooke said to Lucas, her free hand over heart to emphasize it's meaning.

"That's ok," Lucas said, taking a step towards the others and dropping his gaze to the small brunette girl before him.

"Carly you already met Lucas," Brooke said looking between the two adults.

"I do," Carly said reaching her hand out towards him. "Nice to meet you again."

Lucas took Carly's hand in his own and shook it firmly responding, "You too."

Ashleigh watch the exchange play out before her closely only turning her attention away from Carly and Lucas and Brooke knelt down slowly in front of her.

"Ashleigh, you remember my friend from this morning don't you?" Brooke asked her daughter who was watching Lucas closely as he too knelt before her.

Ashleigh nodded slightly, her large inquisitive eyes meeting Lucas' and causing his chest to swell with emotion as he took her small form in and committed it to memory. It was strange the sensation which swept over him in that moment, almost as though for the first time in his life he felt completed. Almost instantly Lucas had fallen in love with the young girl, with everything about her. Her long brown hair, her rounded cheeks and the small dimples she showed when she smiled, he loved it all.

"This is Lucas," Brooke said rubbing her daughters back soothingly with her free hand. "Are you going to say hello?"

"Hi Ashleigh," Lucas said offering his hand reflexively and cursing himself inwardly. "It's nice to finally meet you. Your mom has told me a lot about you."

For a moment, Ashleigh stood stationary, not sure how to react to Lucas' introduction. Inside, Lucas felt his gut wrench and the same insecurities he'd had moments before resurface with a vengeance. _What if she didn't like him? Or she didn't want to get to know him?_ As the silence in the room continued, Lucas' breath caught in his chest and he fought to keep his composure intact. In that moment, Lucas was so scared of being rejected by his daughter that he saw his whole world fall down around him if she turned away.

Slowly Ashleigh took a small step towards Lucas, before finally reaching her small hand out and taking his in it. Lucas felt himself relax at the girls' movement, a huge smile creeping onto his lips as he exhaled slowly in relief. Carefully Lucas wrapped his hand around his daughters and shook it gently. Her hand felt so small enveloped within his and he couldn't help but notice how soft her skin was against his.

"Hi," Ashleigh said glancing momentarily at her mom who nodded encouragingly, before the young girl leant forward and whispered quietly to Lucas. "Do you like paintings?"

"Sure," Lucas laughed in response to the question, happiness overwhelming him as Ashleigh tugged at his hand and caused him to stand up.

Once on his feet, Ashleigh slowly led him towards the lowered kitchen counter, talking animatedly as she did.

Brooke watched the two of them together and as Ashleigh took a seat at the counter, Lucas threw Brooke a grateful look before focusing his attention back on his daughter, who was excitedly pointing at the pictures atop the surface.

As she looked on, Brooke felt tears begin to form in the corner of her eyes and hastily wiped at them with the back of her hand. Beside her she sensed Carly manoeuvre herself nearer until eventually she felt the touch of her friends hand comfortingly on her arm.

Brooke glanced down at Carly who was studying her closely from her wheelchair before placing her hand atop her friends and rubbing it thankfully.

"I'm alright," Brooke, said honestly to allay her friends obvious concerns.

"Are you sure?" Carly asked in response.

"Yeah," Brooke said smiling once more as she took in the scene before her.

"Good," Carly said removing her hand from her friends arm and turning her chair to face Lucas and Ashleigh, "because I'm sending you my dry cleaning bill."

Brooke laughed as she looked down at Carly who was smiling up at her playfully.

"You know you look ridiculous right?" Brooke asked leaning up against the wall slightly and realising too late that she'd rested in a spot of paint.

"I know," Carly, said laughing as Brooke rolled her eyes at the fresh paint mark on her sweater.

"Perfect," Brooke said sarcastically as she carefully pulled the sweater over her head and removed it.

"I think it bought out your eyes." Carly said sarcastically finding her friends annoyance amusing.

"Shut up," Brooke said hitting her playfully on the arm.

"What?" Carly replied laughing. "I'm being serious."

Brooke gave Carly a knowing look before throwing her sweater at her friend and hitting her square in the face.

"You should get cleaned up?" Brooke said seriously. "You're coming to dinner with Mrs Feltham this evening right?"

"I am," Carly said, throwing the sweater back at Brooke. "I was actually planning on going like this though? You don't think she'd like it?"

"Uh…no." Brooke said fiddling with the sweater in her hands before turning her attention back to Carly. "I think she'll probably send you to the corner."

"Hmm…" Carly murmured feigning contemplation. "Now we wouldn't want that would we? Maybe I should take a shower?"

"I don't think it would hurt," Brooke answered teasingly. "You're starting to smell a little funky."

"Honesty," Carly said laughing at Brooke's words and turning her wheelchair towards the direction of her bedroom. "I knew there was a reason, I kept you around so long."

"You mean, it's not for my quick wit and amazing company." Brooke said mockingly.

"Definitely not," Carly called back over her shoulder as she made her way to her bedroom.

Brooke watched after her friend for a moment as she passed the kitchen counter where Ashleigh was busy showing Lucas the drawings she had made earlier that day. The pair of them looked up as Carly came into their line of vision, Ashleigh smiling broadly at the older women.

"Hey aunt Carly," Ashleigh said enthusiastically as Carly removed the pan from her head and placed it right side up on the counter. "You want to help me show Lucas our drawings?"

"I'd love to kiddo," Carly said sincerely. "However, I've got to get ready for dinner this evening and I think your mom is going to take you home, so I can get the elves in to clean this place up."

"Aww…" Ashleigh moaned as she placed the picture she was holding onto the kitchen counter in front of her. "You said I could meet them…"

"There's always tomorrow," Carly said winking at the young girl before her. "I'm always making a mess. Don't worry they'll be back."

Ashleigh pouted slightly in disappointment and Lucas couldn't help but place his hand on her shoulder caringly.

"You know Ashleigh," Lucas said soothingly. "I'm kind of glad you don't get to meet the elves today."

"You are?" Ashleigh asked confused. "Why?"

"Well," Lucas said as he glanced towards Brooke who was approaching them from where'd she been watching the exchange. "I'm glad, because you promised me that you'd show me all the drawings in your bedroom and if you'd stayed to meet the elves then I wouldn't get to because you'd be busy."

Ashleigh seemed to consider Lucas' words for a moment as she watched him closely.

"I guess I can meet them tomorrow," Ashleigh said finally as she looked back towards Carly. "Right now I have to show Lucas my pictures."

"That's definitely more important," Carly responded encouragingly. "Lucas here clearly has an appreciation for your pictures and I don't think the elves really like drawings that much."

Carly winked at Lucas who couldn't help but laugh at her manner.

"Why don't you grab your things sweetheart?" Brooke suggested as she rounded the counter and helped Ashleigh down from her seat. "Then you can take Lucas next door and show off all the special things in your bedroom."

"Ok," Ashleigh said running off quickly towards where her bag was lying on the sofa in Carly's lounge.

As Ashleigh returned to where the adults were gathered, her bag now in hand, she reached slowly for Lucas' hand and he stood up compliantly as she began to lead the way to the apartment door.

"Bye aunt Carly," Ashleigh called over her shoulder and throwing the women a quick look.

"Bye Ash," Carly responded smiling as she watched after the pair of them. "Nice meeting you again Lucas."

"You too," Lucas replied, pausing for an instant to wave a quick goodbye before Ashleigh once again tugged on his hand and pulled him through the now open door.

"Come on slow poke, it's this way." Ashleigh explained in her high-pitched voice, causing Lucas to smile down at her. "My bedroom is pink –"

Brooke watched the pair of them leave, listening to her daughters voice trail off as they disappeared into the corridor before turning back to her best friend.

"Thanks for watching her," Brooke said gratefully. "I really appreciate it."

"It's my pleasure," Carly said watching Brooke closely and sensing apprehension in her demeanour. "Is everything ok?"

Brooke averted her gaze to the floor for a moment, avoiding Carly's confused expression as she answered.

"Listen, Carly, about earlier…." Brooke began hesitantly.

"Forget about it," Carly answered in anticipation of where the conversation was headed. "Just

"No, I…" Brooke tried again. "I really am sorry…"

"Brooke," Carly interrupted laughing slightly. "I said forget about it. As far as I'm concerned it's water under the bridge."

"Are you sure?" Brooke asked uncertainly.

"Positive," Carly answered smiling. "I'll see you at dinner later."

"Ok," Brooke said smiling at her friend. "I'll see you later."

Brooke nodded slightly as she said this, smiling one last time at Carly before finally turning and making her way towards the apartment door. Just as she reached it, Carly called out to her, causing Brooke to pause momentarily in the doorway.

"Just be careful." Carly said protectively, pushing herself slightly towards Brooke. "With Lucas…" she clarified. "Don't rush into anything."

"Lucas wouldn't hurt Ashleigh," Brooke said misinterpreting Carly's concern.

"I was talking about you." Carly said bluntly.

"What do you mean?" Brooke asked confused.

"I see how you look at him Brooke," Carly explained. "However you felt about him…it's still there…just… don't let those feelings come in between him getting to know Ash. That should come first. If there's meant to be anything between you then it'll happen on its own, in it's own time. Don't make it anymore complicated than it needs to be."

Brooke nodded slowly in understanding, patting the doorframe gently with the palm of her hand before turning and making her way up the corridor to her apartment, leaving Carly alone in her apartment.


	10. Chapter 10

Brooke heard Carly's door close quietly behind her as she made her way towards Ashleigh and Lucas who were standing patiently outside her own apartment. Brooke couldn't help but smile when she noticed that Ashleigh was still clutching Lucas' hand firmly in her own and swinging it gently back and forth between them.

"Hurry up mom," Ashleigh called impatiently when she noticed Brooke walking towards them, "you're even slower than aunt Carly."

"Didn't I teach you the importance of patience?" Brooke asked her daughter as she reached the apartment and pulled the key out from her purse.

"Sorry," Ashleigh apologised, swinging on Lucas' arm and smiling adorably at her mom.

"Alright," Brooke answered acceptingly as she unlocked the door and pushed it open for the two of them, "just remember your manners tonight at dinner with Mrs Feltham."

"I will," Ashleigh said excitedly as she pulled on Lucas' arm and started to lead him past Brooke into the apartment. "Come on Lucas, it's this way."

"You're the leader," Lucas said as he followed Ashleigh inside, throwing Brooke a massive smile as he passed her.

Brooke followed the two of them into the apartment and carefully leant back against the solid wood door, closing it shut behind her. For a moment, Brooke just stood there watching, as Ashleigh led Lucas out of sight and into her room. When she'd first run into Lucas this morning she'd been filled with an ominous sense of gloom at the confrontation that would surely ensue, and now, here she was, watching her daughter affectionately welcome Lucas into her life. Brooke wasn't sure how a day that had started off so stressful could have changed so dramatically into what could now be one of the most important of her and her daughters lives.

"_I mean, how many moments in your life can you look back on and say, that's when it all changed." _Brooke thought to herself smiling as she began to make her way into the bedroom to join Lucas and Ashleigh.

As she reached the door to her daughters' room, Brooke paused, folding her arms carefully across her chest and leaning her shoulder gently against the white frame to observe the scene before her, reluctant to interrupt it. Inside, Ashleigh was sitting at a small wooden table, littered with a multitude of coloured pieces of paper, all of which were covered in drawings. Lucas was knelt next to his daughter on the floor, watching closely as Ashleigh pointed out something she'd sketched on the page and described it enthusiastically.

"This is mom," Ashleigh said, pointing to another illustration on the same yellow sheet of paper and looking up to meet Lucas' gaze. "See, she has brown hair just like her."

Lucas made a point of looking between the picture and Brooke, who had now taken a step closer towards them in an attempt to see the image they were discussing.

"Your mom huh?" Lucas said continuing to glance between the drawing and Brooke teasingly.

"Yeah," Ashleigh said, pointing towards something else on the page. "You can tell because she has lots of bags, see?" Ashleigh explained as she moved her finger between the different bags she'd doodled, reeling off their contents. "She has shoes in this one, dresses, purses and…" Ashleigh frowned for a moment as she tried to remember the items Brooke was carrying in the last bag, "and I can't remember what's in this one." Ashleigh finally conceded giggling.

Lucas laughed along with his daughter, turning to give Brooke a meaningful look as he said, "So you're mom likes shopping huh?"

"Oh yeah!" Ashleigh proclaimed excitedly, "She loves shopping!"

Lucas turned his attention back to Brooke who was now kneeling down beside him at the table and studying the picture of her in greater detail.

"It's nice to see that nothing changes," Lucas said smiling as Brooke looked up to meet his eyes, a wide grin matching his own on her face, showing off those same dimples that had made his heart melt all those years ago.

Briefly, Lucas turned his attention back to Ashleigh beside him once more. The young girl was now furiously scribbling with an orange crayon on a fresh sheet of paper, her tongue sticking out of her mouth in concentration. Lucas was so happy in that moment that he thought his heart would burst from his chest, the love that he felt for the small girl was like nothing he'd ever experienced before. Everything about her was perfect. From the way she crinkled her nose as she coloured, to her large bright eyes. Ashleigh was a part of him, his flesh and blood, the single most important thing that he had done with his life so far.

Lucas turned his attention back to Brooke who was watching him carefully, trying to read his expression. Lucas smiled at her once again, the knowledge of what they'd managed to accomplish together hitting him full in the face. Ashleigh was a product of them both, all their best qualities bought together in her small form, a manifestation of the love that they'd shared together. As they looked at one another, Lucas could see in Brooke's eyes that she understood what he was feeling, that she too felt that overwhelming sense of pride, of achievement whenever she looked at her daughter.

For a moment, neither Lucas nor Brooke said anything, their eyes still fixed firmly on one another's, Lucas once again lost in the beauty of her features, enthralled by those deep brown eyes and the familiarity that he found there. Absorbed in those eyes, Lucas forgot where he was and found himself leaning closer towards her, his hand reaching out to brush away a stray piece of hair, which was now lying freely by her eye.

Brooke remain frozen as Lucas gently tucked the hair back behind her ear, her breath catching momentarily in her chest as he tenderly stroked the side of her face with his thumb. In this instant, it felt as though everything that had happened in the last 5 years had been nothing but a dream, a mere illusion that had clouded her vision and left her blinded to emotions that she was once again feeling.

Little by little, Lucas began to move his face even closer to Brooke's, their lips mere inches apart. He could feel his heart-pounding deep in his chest; smell the sweet scent of Brooke's hair close to his face, and feel the warmth of her breath on his skin. Suddenly, all Lucas could think about was kissing Brooke, the memories of the embrace they'd shared this morning flooding back with such intensity that he could almost taste her on his lips. Swallowing hard, Lucas closed the final distance between the two of them, their eyes still locked on one another's. Just as they were about to make contact the phone began to ring and reflexively Brooke turned her head towards the source of the noise, startling Lucas back to reality.

"I should get that," Brooke said quietly, swallowing hard as her eyes once again met Lucas'.

"Uh…yeah," Lucas said trying to compose himself as he quickly glanced towards Ashleigh who was busy scribbling a new drawing at the table beside him. "Ok."

Slowly, Brooke stood up, using the low wooden table for support, before making her way back across the lounge to the door. As she walked, Brooke gently ran a hand through her dark mane of hair, turning briefly to throw a backward glance in Lucas' direction.

Lucas watched her for a moment, before he felt a small hand tugging on the sleeve of his white shirt. Once again, his attention was focused back on his daughter, who was now holding up a different picture for his scrutiny.

"Look what I just made," Ashleigh said, holding the drawing proudly.

"Wow," Lucas said, trying to shake off the last few minutes, which were now fogging his mind. "You drew this?"

"Yep," Ashleigh said nodding her head exaggeratedly.

"I don't believe you," Lucas said playfully, poking Ashleigh in the stomach and looking at the picture closely again.

"I did!" Ashleigh exclaimed pointing towards the bottom of the page, "look, here's my name at the bottom, see?"

"Oh yeah, " Lucas said smiling at his daughter, "I must of missed that before."

Lucas frowned as he studied the picture further, "What is it a picture of?" he asked curiously.

"It's a picture of Mr Tinkles" Ashleigh answered laughing.

"Who's Mr Tinkles?" Lucas asked even more confused.

"He's my stuffed kitten," Ashleigh responded pulling her cuddly toy from her rucksack. "See?"

"Ahh," Lucas said taking the toy from Ashleigh as she handed it to him, "and where did you get him from?"

"My grandma gave him to me when I was born," Ashleigh said, standing up and collecting a picture frame from her bedside table.

"This is my grandma," Ashleigh said; bringing the picture over to Lucas and pointing at a raven-haired lady standing beside Brooke who was holding a newborn baby in her arms.

"And who's this?" Lucas asked pointing at a man he assumed to be Brooke's father standing on her other side.

"That's my grandpa," Ashleigh answered, "and this," she said pointing at the small baby in Brooke's arms, "is me."

Lucas grinned at Ashleigh as she watched him expectantly. "I sort of guessed that," he laughed, "but thank you for clarifying it for me."

"Your welcome," Ashleigh said, jumping down from her chair and putting the picture back onto her bedside table.

Just as she was returning, Brooke reappeared at the bedroom door.

"Hey," Lucas said as he noticed her standing there, "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah," Brooke answered stepping into the room and placing a hand atop Ashleigh's head as her daughter ran up to greet her. "That was my parents on the phone, they've gone away for the weekend and were just letting me know that they got there safely."

"Are they going to bring me back a present?" Ashleigh asked eagerly, looking up at her mom.

"I'm not sure," Brooke said, crouching down so that she was level with her daughter. "Maybe if you're a really good girl and go and get cleaned up for dinner I can put in a good word for you."

"Do I have to?" Ashleigh asked, flashing Brooke one of the most adorable looks Lucas had ever seen.

"How can you argue with that?" Brooke asked Lucas defeated.

"I don't think you can," Lucas said, almost certain that if he were in Brooke's shoes he'd crumble and give Ashleigh whatever she wanted.

Brooke laughed and looked back at Ashleigh, before wiping at a dried bit of paint on her daughters forehead with her thumb. "Go on sweetheart," she said patting Ashleigh on the bottom gently with her hand in the direction of the bathroom, "wash you face please."

"Alright," Ashleigh said defeated as she trotted off in the direction of the bathroom.

Slowly Brooke stood back up from where she'd been crouching, to her right, Lucas started to rise also, grasping his knees as he did so.

"Are you ok?" Brooke asked amused at Lucas attempt to stand.

"I think I've got a dead leg," Lucas answered wincing as he tried to walk.

"Should I get you a walking stick?" Brooke asked teasingly.

"I don't think that'll be necessary," Lucas replied smiling as he watched Brooke closely, before cautiously adding, "listen, Brooke, about before?"

"Uh, yeah," Brooke answered, recollecting the moment they'd shared before the phone had interrupted them. "Let's just…forget it happened."

"Right," Lucas said, disappointment evident in his voice.

"I mean," Brooke continued, "things are complicated enough with Ashleigh you know? You're just getting to know her, and I think that's what's most important right now. We need to focus on that."

"Yeah," Lucas said, trying to convey that he was thinking the exact same thing with his tone of voice even though he was struggling to believe it himself, "Right, yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking."

"Great," Brooke said turning to head back out into the lounge and Lucas following after her. "You want something to drink?" she asked turning to face him as she reached the kitchen countertop.

"Uh, sure," Lucas answered hesitantly. "As long as I'm not holding you and Ashleigh up for your dinner plans."

"You're not," Brooke replied smiling. "We've got an hour or so before we need to be there, that's plenty of time."

"Ok then," Lucas said enthusiastically, leaning both his forearms on the kitchen counter opposite her as he took a seat. "In that case I'd love a coffee."

"Ahh," Brooke responded, remembering why she'd gone to Starbucks this morning. "I'm afraid I'm all out of coffee," She said rummaging through her kitchen cupboards and pulling out a box of tea bags and some cocoa, "but I've got either of these," she finished shaking one item in each hand.

Lucas made a show of debating which of the beverages he'd prefer to consume before finally answering, "Alright, I'll have a tea."

"You sure?" Brooke asked playing on the fact that he'd appeared so hesitant to choose.

"Positive," Lucas answered laughing.

"Tea it is," Brooke said, making up the cups and putting the kettle on.

Just then, Ashleigh jogged into view from the direction of the bathroom, holding both her hands up in front of her.

"Look, I'm all clean," she exclaimed, jumping up on the stool beside Lucas and turning her hands over on the counter for him to inspect.

"Yep," He agreed, taking her hands in his own and scrutinizing them closer, "Bright and shiny like a new penny."

"Well almost," Brooke said eyeing up her daughters paint covered dungarees. "Once we get you into a change of clothes, you'll be good as new," she finished smiling.

"Aww…mom?" Ashleigh said, clearly against the whole idea.

"You can't wear that to dinner," Brooke said laughing as she leant across the table and brushed Ashleigh's hair out of her eyes. "It's covered in paint."

"Aww…." Ashleigh repeated pouting, "but this is my favourite."

"Sorry sweetheart," Brooke said again pinching Ashleigh's cheek gently, "you'll have to pick out something else."

"O…k…" Ashleigh conceded continuing to pout, "but only because it's you."

"Thank you," Brooke said, kissing her daughter on the head just as the kettle boiled. "Do you want a cup of hot chocolate?" she asked Ashleigh as she filled her and Lucas' cup.

"Yes please," Ashleigh replied excitedly, the disappointment of the previous conversation quickly forgotten.

Lucas shared a meaningful look with Brooke as she handed him his cup and carefully began making a lukewarm cocoa for Ashleigh. As he sat there sipping at his drink, Lucas couldn't help but feel as though he didn't want to be anywhere else in the world, as though this was where he was supposed to be, with his daughter, with Brooke, just the three of them together as a proper family. Watching the two of them, sitting in this apartment felt so natural, that he couldn't imagine his life being anything else.

As though right on cue, Lucas' cell phone began ringing in his trouser pocket and he hurriedly placed down his cup to answer it. As he took it out from its place of concealment a feeling of uneasiness suddenly crept over him.

_This is where things get complicated._ He thought to himself.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" Brooke asked, curious about Lucas' obvious reluctance as she placed Ashleigh's drink on the counter before the small girl.

"Right," Lucas said, Brooke's voice bringing him back from his thoughts. "Do you mind if I take this outside?" he said, gesturing towards the apartment door.

"Knock yourself out," Brooke said watching interestedly as Lucas headed towards the door and disappeared behind it.

"I like him," Ashleigh said distractedly as she took a taste of her drink.

"Me too," Brooke said staring at the door now hiding Lucas from view. "Me too."

Once outside in the corridor, Lucas finally connected the call to his fiancée.


	11. Chapter 11

Outside, Lucas put the small black phone to his ear and cleared his throat carefully before finally speaking.

"Hey sweetheart," he answered, throwing a quick glance toward Brooke's apartment.

"Hey back at you," his fiancée answered cheerily. "I've been thinking about you all day, how did everything go with the book launch?"

"Uh…you know, nothing too exciting," Lucas answered resting back against the wall opposite Brooke's door. "Just a lot of sitting around really."

"Are you serious?" his fiancée answered disbelievingly, "Lucas, this is something you've been dreaming about since I met you…"

"Yeah I know," he responded solemnly, "I guess I've just been kind of distracted, that's all. I haven't really had time to let the significance of it all sink in."

His fiancée sighed on the other end of the line. "I wish I could have been there with you. I should have been there…"

"You had to work," has answered rubbing at his eyes tiredly. "It's fine honestly. You can't just drop everything to spend a couple of days in New York, you have patients."

"I guess," his fiancée reluctantly agreed. "That doesn't mean that I don't want to be there though. I mean, it's not even been a day yet, and I'm already missing you like crazy."

For a moment, Lucas didn't answer. He looked over the distance separating him from his daughter and Brooke. This morning everything had been so simple. He would remain in New York for a couple of days to promote the release of his book before flying back to Tree Hill, back to his family, his friends, his fiancée. Now though, everything had changed.

How could he leave New York knowing that it would mean leaving his daughter with it? How could he stand to be separated from her by miles when it was killing him to be separated from her now when she was mere inches away?

The truth was that now Lucas knew of her existence, he wanted to be a part of Ashleigh's life. He'd already missed so much of her childhood, moments that he'd never be able to get back; he couldn't afford to miss anything else.

On the other hand however, Lucas loved his fiancée. She'd mended his fractured heart, bought hope and happiness back into his life when he thought that no one possibly could.

"I miss you too," he said finally, closing his eyes.

"You do?" she asked sceptically, sensing sadness in the tone of his voice.

"Yeah," Lucas said, "I love you."

"I love you too," she responded.

"Listen…" Lucas began, before being quickly interrupted.

"Oh hang on," his fiancée cut him off, responding to the far away sound of a doorbell, faint in the distance. "That'll be Peyton and Jake. You want to talk to them?"

"Actually, I've got to go," Lucas answered hastily.

"Really?" his fiancée asked, "They'll be eager to know how it all went today."

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry," Lucas, said apologetically, hearing the doorbell ring again, louder than before. "It's just, I'm supposed to be meeting my editor for dinner and I don't want to keep him waiting."

"Ok," she accepted.

"Can you tell them I'll give them a call tomorrow?" Lucas asked, "oh, and tell Peyton not to have that baby until I get back ok?"

"I'll do that," his fiancée laughed, audibly opening the door to her guests on the other side of the phone. "Speak to you soon?"

"Yeah," Lucas assured her, "I'll call you tomorrow, let you know how dinner went."

"Try not to celebrate too much," she teased him playfully.

"I promise," Lucas said lightly.

"I love you," she finished seriously.

"Love you too," Lucas said sighing and disconnecting the call.

Lucas pushed himself away from the wall with his foot whilst putting the phone back into his pants pocket. As he began to make his way over towards Brooke's door, something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye and he turned to see Carly watching him closely.

"Hey," Lucas greeted her guiltily.

"Hey Lucas," she answered, a wide grin on her face. "Everything alright?"

"Uh…yeah," He answered, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand and feeling his face flush. "Everything is great."

Carly wheeled herself closer to Lucas, seemingly enjoying his discomfort. "You sure? You look kind of…I don't know…embarrassed or something."

"Embarrassed?" Lucas asked, his voice catching slightly in his throat. "Why would I be embarrassed?"

"I don't know," Carly said laughing. "Maybe you think I'll tell Brooke about the personal call I just heard?"

"Personal call?" Lucas said trying to sound casual.

"Yeah," Carly said, rolling herself back and forth on the spot. "I think it went something like this…."

Carly cleared her throat for effect before saying in her best imitation of Lucas, "Love you too."

"Oh that…" he replied, "that was nothing, I mean…"

"Lucas relax," Carly laughed. "I'm not going to say anything to Brooke."

"You're not?" Lucas asked, relaxing a little.

"Hey," Carly said wheeling past him, "it's got nothing to do with me."

"Yeah, but Brooke's your best friend," Lucas stated following after her.

"True," Carly admitted, pretending to consider it. "Still, I'm not going to pretend to understand the details of your relationship, much better if I keep out of it." Carly paused for a moment before continuing. "I mean, it's not like your dating or anything right?"

"Right…" Lucas said puzzled by Carly's lack of interest.

"It's not like you still love her?" she carried on determinedly.

Lucas didn't answer, instead choosing to glance down at the floor at his feet.

"Interesting…" Carly said grinning to herself.

"Look Carly, it's complicated…" Lucas began before getting cut off by the sound of her knocking on Mrs Feltham's apartment door.

"Love always is," she answered winking at him as an elderly lady opened the door.

"Carly," Mrs Feltham greeted the girl kindly. "You're a little early for dinner aren't you?" She said glancing at her watch. "It won't be ready for another forty minutes at least."

"I know," Carly said smiling. "I just wondered if you wanted me to bring anything over for dessert."

"Have you made something?" Mrs Feltham asked, throwing a look towards Lucas, which suggested that Carly should not be allowed loose in the kitchen.

"What after last time?" Carly asked laughing. "I don't think my kitchen has recovered from that experience just yet."

"So what…" Mrs Feltham began looking towards Lucas once again as Carly cut her off.

"I could go out and get something," she said simply.

"That won't be necessary," Mrs Feltham, answered her warmly. "I wouldn't want to put you out, I'm sure I've got something lying around here somewhere that would suffice."

"Are you sure?" Carly asked, "I don't mind…"

"No, no," Mrs Feltham confirmed. "You just bring yourself…" Once again, she turned to Lucas, "and your friend here…"

Carly looked towards Lucas who was standing behind her, "Lucas?"

"Yes," Mrs Feltham reinforced, "bring Lucas along as well. Your friends are more than welcome."

"Uh, thank you for the offer," Lucas said gratefully, "but I don't want to impose."

"It's no imposition," Mrs Feltham reassured him. "Carly never brings any of her friends to dinner. Especially such a well spoken young man as yourself."

"Actually," Carly clarified smiling, "Lucas is Brooke's friend. You know I don't socialise with people of his social standing Mrs Feltham. I aim much lower. "

"Carly," Mrs Feltham scolded before adding as an after thought, "You know I wish you girls would call me Joyce like I ask you to."

"Yeah, but where's the fun in that?" Carly asked grinning at her.

Mrs Feltham sighed and turned to Lucas once again, "Well, my offer still stands Lucas. You're more than welcome to join us, just, don't eat anything Carly has prepared."

"Thank you," Lucas laughed, "I'd love to join you for dinner, as long as you're sure."

"Of course," Mrs Feltham replied. "Just come along with Brooke, I'll set an extra place for you at the table."

As Mrs Feltham turned to enter her apartment Carly asked, "So…what did we decide with the dessert?"

Mrs Feltham turned to give Carly a pointed look, "I'll sort something out, please, for the buildings safety, do not cook anything…and for **your** safety, don't go out, it's getting late."

"Mrs Feltham, you worry about me too much," Carly said laughing. "Anyone would think I'm a cripple? I can look after myself."

"Please," Mrs Feltham said seriously. "Promise me."

"I promise," Carly, answered her sincerely.

"I'll see you both at dinner," Mrs Feltham said before turning into her apartment and closing the door of her apartment behind her.

"That was weird," Carly said, staring at the now closed door for a moment frowning.

"She just cares about you," Lucas said looking at Carly who still sat frowning at the door.

"I guess," Carly answered as Brooke opened the door of her apartment, her clothes now changed in preparation for the dinner tonight.

Both Carly and Lucas turned to look at her as she stood in the now open doorway. Lucas couldn't help but stare at her as he followed the lines of the red dress she wore as it traced the curves of her body.

"Wow," Carly said, turning her chair to face her friend and raising her eyebrow, "Little overdressed for dinner aren't we?"

"It's a special occasion," Brooke said throwing Carly a meaningful glance.

"It is?" Carly asked her.

"Yes," Brooke replied sternly before glancing towards Lucas who was still staring at her wide-eyed.

"Well, what's the occasion?" Carly questioned. "

"Carly it's been four years since me and Ashleigh moved in here," Brooke answered, "The same amount of time since Mrs Feltham lost her husband" she prodded.

"Oh," Carly said sounding genuinely surprised. "Of course, how could I have forgotten that?"

Brooke ignored Carly's rhetorical question, instead, taking in the scene before her and asking, "What were you two doing out here?"

"Nothing," Lucas and Carly answered together before throwing glances at each other.

Brooke looked puzzled, "Seriously? What were you guys doing?"

"I just came to ask Mrs Feltham if she wanted me to bring over some dessert later?" Carly said truthfully.

"You didn't cook something did you?" Brooke asked throwing Lucas the same look Mrs Feltham had.

"Why does everyone ask me that?" Carly said defeated.

"Um, because we've tasted your cooking," Brooke replied laughing.

"Anyway," Carly continued, "I came to ask Mrs Feltham about dessert and Lucas was just finishing up a phone call…."

"And?" Brooke asked sensing there was more.

"And…. Mrs Feltham invited him to dinner with us later." Carly finished.

"What?" Brooke asked sharing a meaningful look with Carly.

"Oh," Carly said matter of factly. "Funny story…Mrs Feltham thought he was my friend, invited him, then when I told her he was your friend, she…invited him again."

"If it's a problem I don't have to come, " Lucas said, sensing Brooke wasn't very keen on the idea. "You can tell her I got called away. Send my apologies."

"No, it's ok." Brooke said, "I just didn't think you'd want to come. It might be kind of weird."

"I'm not that bad," Carly said defensively.

"Not because of you," Brooke replied dumbfounded. "You know, because of our situation."

"Ok…" Carly began as she started to make her way back to her apartment, "I think the cryptic clues are my cue to leave."

Brooke and Lucas watched as Carly paused outside her door to open it and then turned to face them one last time, a huge grin on her face.

"I guess I'll see you two later," she said entering the room and closing the door behind her.

Lucas and Brooke turned back to face each other.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" Lucas asked, "I was kind of put on the spot and I didn't have the heart to turn her offer down."

"Uh, no it's ok honestly," Brooke, replied, "I mean, it'll give you more time with Ashleigh."

"Exactly," Lucas said swallowing hard.

"We'll just, you know, neglect to tell them everything that happened…you know…about…." Brooke stumbled over the words, trying to get her point across without saying the words out loud.

"Our past?" Lucas guessed.

"Right," Brooke said nodding as Lucas stepped closer to her.

"What about Carly?" Lucas asked stepping even closer to Brooke, causing her breath to catch in her mouth.

"What about her?" Brooke said leaning back from Lucas slightly, their bodies now only inches apart.

"She knows Ashleigh's my daughter right? Won't she say something if we start making up stories for Mrs Feltham at dinner?" Lucas asked, intrigued by the motives of Brooke's friend for keeping his phone call secret.

"You don't know Carly like I do," Brooke answered. "She won't say anything. You can trust her."

"Yeah," Lucas said smiling. "I think I can."

Brooke glanced at Lucas puzzled by his words, but chose not to question him further on the obscure statement.

"So, who was on the phone?" Brooke asked changing the subject as she turned to re-enter her apartment.

"Uh, it was no one," Lucas lied, following her into the room and closing the door shut behind him.


	12. Chapter 12

"Ashleigh!" Brooke shouted from the kitchen, fitting one earring swiftly into her right lobe, before carefully turning her head aside and fitting the other into her left. "We're going to be late for dinner!"

"Coming Mom!" Ashleigh's minute voice called from the depths of her room, the sound slightly muffled from the closed door acting as a frontier between the rooms.

"You want me to go and check on her?" Lucas asked Brooke whilst quickly throwing another of many glances the length of her sleek figure.

"No that's alright," Brooke replied, grabbing her purse from the counter and turning towards Lucas. "She'll be out in a minute" she assured him before uncertainly adding, "I hope."

"So…" Lucas said throwing his arms out to the side haphazardly and doing a small pirouette in front of Brooke. "Am I presentable enough?"

Brooke raised one eyebrow as she pretended to judge his attire.

"You'll do," she said finally, noticing his tie was out of place and resisting the urge to straighten it.

"Thanks for lending me the tie," Lucas said gratefully, nervously playing with the cuff's of his shirt. "I felt a little underdressed for dinner when I saw you in that dress."

"I don't normally dress like this," Brooke said trying to allay his fears. "Dinner's never usually this formal, it's just, kind of an anniversary for us I guess."

Lucas' lip curled up at one side into a small smile, "An anniversary?"

"Yeah," Brooke said smiling back, "I know it sounds sentimental, but it's been 4 years since me and Ash moved in here."

Brooke eyed Lucas for a moment before hitting him gently on the arm.

"So you better be on your best behaviour." She added giving him that knowing smile.

"Always," Lucas said laughing.

For a lingering moment, Brooke and Lucas looked at each other. Just a moment, but it was enough to make Lucas forget himself, something that he could not afford to do around Brooke without risking everything.

"Ashleigh!" Brooke called again, breaking the connection, irritation evident in her voice. "We're going to be late!"

"I can't find my shoes!" Ashleigh called from behind the closed door.

Brooke sighed before heading off to help her daughter find the elusive footwear.

Lucas laughed to himself, glancing around the small apartment with a sense of familiarity. It had only been a day, but Lucas had already committed this small piece of the world to memory, for fear that he would soon forget it when he was separated from it. He admired the montage of pictures mounted proudly on the wall, pictures of Brooke and Ashleigh together in various different locations, a constant air of belonging, of love, omnipresent throughout them all.

There were pictures including Carly, photos depicting her not only as Lucas knew her now, but as a vibrant teenager, jumping onto the back of her best friend at their high school graduation whilst throwing her cap into the air.

Brooke's parents made and appearance in the memories as well, each one standing tall at her side whilst Brooke held her high school diploma, another of her father carrying Ashleigh on his shoulders.

Even Mrs Feltham was featured on the wall, a picture of her seated at the head of a table, Brooke and Ashleigh leaning in from either side.

Lucas felt his heart sink as he continued to scan the pictures. In all these memories, all these moments which Brooke and Ashleigh had treasured enough to capture for eternity, he was missing.

His noticeable absence cut through him like a knife.

_Is this how it'll always be?_

Lucas couldn't help but be troubled. What if this was the best it would ever get? Would he be happy only being the observer, sharing few precious moments with his daughter whilst having to look at all those he had missed in retrospect?

He ran a quick hand through his hair, trying to shake the feeling of unease that had come over him.

That wouldn't be his life, he decided. He couldn't just sit back and watch those moments pass, he'd already missed so many. Lucas wanted to be in those moments, to share memories with his daughter that she treasured, that she would want to capture to look back on one day.

Lucas felt a warm hand on his shoulder, pulling him back from his thoughts so suddenly that it momentarily disoriented him.

"Are you alright?" Brooke asked, glancing towards the wall and smiling fondly.

"Yeah," Lucas said composing himself and pointing towards the display. "I was just admiring your pictures."

"You like them?" Brooke said, stepping closer to the wall to get a better look, Lucas following silently after her. "Which one's your favourite?"

Lucas peered at the collection of frames again, scanning them for an answer to Brooke's question.

"This one," he said finally pointing to a small picture, mounted stylishly in a silver frame.

Brooke smiled at it as she gently took it down from the wall to examine it closer, Lucas looking at it from over her shoulder.

"This one's my favourite too," Brooke agreed handing the frame to Lucas. "Why did you choose it?"

"I don't know really," Lucas answered honestly, looking at the picture in his hands and admiring the smiling faces of the three females in it. "I just felt…kind of…drawn to it I guess."

"You see Carly's black eye?" Brooke asked pointing to the visible blemish in the photo.

"Yeah," Lucas said nodding.

"Well," Brooke began laughing, "last summer, Carly and I took Ashleigh to see a gymnastics display and for the next month it was all she could talk about."

Brooke paused for a moment, clearly picturing the memory in her head.

"The whole time we were there, she just had this look of awe on her face," Brooke continued. "I don't think I've ever seen her sit still for that long before."

"So how did Carly get the black eye?" Lucas prompted.

"Right," Brooke said returning to her initial point. "Well, after the competition, Ashleigh was determined that she wanted to be a gymnast, and of course, she had to start practicing right away."

"Uh oh," Lucas said, sensing where this story was going.

"Oh yeah," Brooke said laughing. "Carly didn't see her coming until it was too late, ended up getting kicked straight in the side of the head."

"Ouch," Lucas said wincing.

"This photo was taken not long afterward," Brooke said taking the picture from Lucas and placing it back on the wall in its place. "It was coming towards the end of the summer, and we'd been having a picnic in Central Park with my parents."

"Who took the photo?" Lucas asked staring wistfully at Brooke.

"My dad," Brooke answered, lifting her hands carefully towards Lucas' tie.

Lucas followed her hands, watching as she straightened his tie and delicately adjusted his collar. He swallowed hard, his hand reaching up cautiously to where hers was resting on his the material of his shirt. Brooke met his gaze momentarily as their skin made contact, before gently placing her hand down by her side.

"Is Ashleigh ready?" he asked softly.

"Yeah," Brooke replied tenderly, "she's just brushing her hair."

"And the mysterious disappearing shoes?" Lucas questioned maintaining the intense eye contact with Brooke.

"Found," she said, her eyes still locked onto his.

"So crisis averted?"

"It would seem so," Brooke confirmed.

Lucas smiled before breaking the moment to glance at something over Brooke's shoulder.

"Ok I'm ready," Ashleigh, said energetically as she appeared out of her bedroom door and headed towards them.

"About time," Brooke said playfully, stroking her daughters' hair and smiling at the young girl as she stood beside her. "Right," she prompted, gently pushing Ashleigh towards the apartment door. "Let's go."

Once set in motion, Ashleigh ran for the door, opening it briskly and charging out of the apartment and out of sight into the corridor.

"You sure you want to come?" Brooke asked Lucas as they slowly made their way after her. "It's not too late to change your mind?"

"Actually," Lucas replied as he stepped through the door. "I'm looking forward to it."

"Well," Brooke said, closing her apartment door after her as she stepped into the corridor. "We'll see if you still feel that way in an hour."


	13. Chapter 13

Approaching Mrs Feltham's door, Brooke heard the gentle old lady greet her daughter warmly. As she neared, Brooke could see Ashleigh unlocking from a quick embrace and duck under Mrs Feltham's arm and into her apartment.

"Evening Brooke," Mrs Feltham welcomed as her and Lucas stood opposite her.

"Evening Mrs Feltham," Brooke reciprocated, pulling her into a tight embrace.

"Nice to meet you again Lucas," Mrs Feltham said, releasing Brooke and turning to him.

"Thank you for inviting me," Lucas said gratefully offering Brooke's neighbour his hand awkwardly.

Mrs Feltham smiled at the gesture but instead of shaking it, she hooked her arm through his and led him into her apartment. Brooke followed after them, pulling the door closed behind her.

As Mrs Feltham's steered Lucas towards the dining room, he couldn't help but realise that her apartment was nothing like he had envisioned it. Instead of floral wallpaper, dark mahogany furniture, throw pillows and ornaments, Lucas was surprised to find that the apartment was decorated with a modern feel to it.

The walls were painted in neutral beige, the carpet turquoise, furniture a light beech. Altogether, the place felt very spacious, not cluttered with mismatched antique furniture or the various knick-knacks collected throughout her life. Instead, her apartment was very simple, containing only the essentials needed to conduct her daily business, not clinical and unlived in, but simple nonetheless.

"Lucas you're sitting here," Mrs Feltham said, offering Lucas a seat at the table opposite his daughter.

"Thank you," Lucas answered, as he lowered himself into it.

"Is Carly here yet?" Brooke asked, as she took the seat next to him whist Mrs Feltham poured them both a drink.

"Not yet," Mrs Feltham answered smiling, "but you know how Carly is."

"That I do," Brooke said as she took the glass of wine Mrs Feltham offered her.

Lucas took the wine offered to him also, thanking Mrs Feltham before she turned her attention to Ashleigh.

"Ashleigh dear," she began, "what would you like to drink?"

"Can I have a coke?" Ashleigh asked, throwing a questioning glance at Brooke.

Mrs Feltham turned towards the brunette also, awaiting her response.

"Just one," Brooke said relenting as she took a sip of her wine.

"One coca-cola coming up," Mrs Feltham said as she disappeared into the kitchen to fetch the beverage.

As she vanished out of sight, a light knock could be heard at the apartment door. Instantly, Ashleigh was on her feet, running to answer it whilst shouting, "I'll get it!" over her shoulder.

Brooke and Lucas watched after her as Ashleigh opened the door to reveal Carly seated as always in her wheelchair. She was wearing dark pants and a white shirt, formal but casual at the same time.

"Hey Ash," Lucas heard Carly greet his daughter as she pulled the child into a warm embrace. "You behaving yourself?"

"Uh huh," Ashleigh answered before turning and skipping back towards the table.

Carly pushed the door closed behind her as she made her way to where everyone was gathered at the table.

"Hey," she greeted Brooke and Lucas simultaneously.

"You're late," Brooke chided her playfully in response.

"Only by a couple of minutes," Carly protested. "That's pretty good for me."

"Still late though," Brooke replied laughing.

"Fine," Carly accepted placing a bouquet of flowers on the table. "But at least I bought a gift to make up for it."

"You bought a gift?" Brooke asked surprised. "That's unlike you."

"Yeah well…" Carly replied embarrassed before quickly defending, "It's not like you ever bring anything either."

"What do you call Ashleigh?" Brooke questioned her friend.

"Ash doesn't count," Carly, answered as Mrs Feltham entered with Ashleigh's drink and placed it on the table.

Seeing Carly had now joined their group, Mrs Feltham made her way around the table to greet her.

"Evening Carly," Mrs Feltham greeted affectionately. "I'm so glad you could make it," she continued pulling the young woman into a hug.

"You know I never pass up a free meal," Carly quipped returning the embrace before adding awkwardly, "I bought you something," picking up the flowers and handing them to the old lady.

"Oh Carly," Mrs Feltham exclaimed as she took the bouquet from her grasp. "They're beautiful, thank you."

"They're nothing much," Carly responded as Mrs Feltham took the flowers to place them in a vase.

As the old lady disappeared once again as Carly turned back to Brooke to see a smug grin on her face.

"What?" Carly asked irritated.

"Nothing," Brooke answered amused.

"Seriously, what are you smiling about?" Carly asked, glancing at Ashleigh who was watching the exchange interestedly before looking back towards Brooke.

"You are such a softy underneath the sarcasm," Brooke finally told her.

"I am not," Carly defended.

"Whatever you say," Brooke said clearly trying to irritate her friend further.

Just as Carly was about to say something in response, Brooke cut her short, "Drink?" she asked holding up the bottle of wine.

"Fine," Carly replied curtly, dropping the previous subject, "but I'll just have a glass of water."

"You're not drinking tonight?" Brooke asked surprised.

"Not tonight," Carly answered simply.

"Why not?" Brooke questioned curiously, pouring her friend a glass of water and handing it to her.

Carly ignored her question, taking a quick sip of her water and placing the glass back on the table in front of her.

"Right," Mrs Feltham said, breaking the silence, which had fallen, over the room as she reappeared. "Dinner shouldn't be too long."

"Do you need any help?" Brooke offered.

"No, no," Mrs Feltham assured her taking a seat at the table and pouring herself a glass of wine, "it's all taken care of."

As she poured her drink, Mrs Feltham seemed to notice that Carly was only drinking water and questioned her about it.

"You're not drinking tonight Carly?" Mrs Feltham asked her surprised.

"Not tonight," Carly answered simply again.

"Not even one glass to make a toast?" Mrs Feltham pressed.

"I can't," Carly said avoiding Brooke's penetrating gaze.

"What's going on?" Brooke asked pressing her friend for an answer, "Carly, you're hiding something, what is it?"

"It's nothing," Carly said trying to keep her voice level.

"Carly?" Brooke pressed again.

"Brooke it's nothing to worry about I promise," Carly said taking another sip of her water.

"Then why won't you tell me?" Brooke asked becoming more concerned with every second.

"Perhaps we should change the subject?" Mrs Feltham suggested. "If Carly says it's nothing then it will be."

"Thank you," Carly said gratefully to the old lady and throwing Brooke a glaring look telling her not to push it any further.

"Ok," Brooke conceded obviously still worried.

It wasn't as if Carly was a big drinker, but she'd never turned down a glass of wine with dinner before and the fact that she was evading the subject troubled Brooke. What possible harm could one glass of wine do? The only plausible conclusion that Brooke could come to was that Carly was taking some medication which prevented her from drinking, she knew her friend couldn't be pregnant, she'd not had a boyfriend for a long time and Carly would have told her if she had.

What medication could Carly be taking which meant she wasn't allowed to drink? What was it for? Brooke couldn't help but conjure up all kinds of horrible scenarios in her head.

"Lucas," Mrs Feltham said turning the conversation to the newest member of their group and shifting Brooke's focus away from her friend momentarily. "Why don't you tell us something about yourself?"

"What would you like to know?" Lucas asked taking a sip of his wine and glancing around at the faces now looking towards him from around the table.

"Have you been to New York before?" Mrs Feltham asked him interestedly.

"Actually," Lucas answered smiling, "this is my first time."

"How are you finding it?" She asked him. "Sometimes I think people can find it a little overwhelming if they've not been before."

"It's definitely that," Lucas admitted truthfully. "I'm not used to big cities, so it's definitely been an experience so far."

"Have you been to Central Park?" Ashleigh asked Lucas trying to join in the conversation whilst sipping her coca-cola.

"Not yet," Lucas answered her. "In fact, I've not really had anytime for sight-seeing yet.

"That's a shame," Mrs Feltham responded.

"Are you here on business Lucas?" Carly asked, having another sip of her water.

"Sort of," Lucas replied sharing a meaningful look with Brooke.

"What do you do if you don't mind me asking?" Mrs Feltham questioned Lucas farther.

"Not at all," Lucas reassured her. "I'm actually a writer, well, kind of," he said uncertain before continuing. "My first novel is being released this week, I'm in New York for the launch."

"What's your novel called?" Carly asked him, her interest peaked. "Maybe I've read it?"

Lucas gave Brooke a questioning look.

"Carly's a freelance copyeditor." Brooke clarified. "She reads books, manuscripts etc before publishing and edits them"

"Oh right," Lucas said surprised. "It's called 'An Unkindness of Ravens."

Lucas couldn't be sure because it passed quickly, but he would swear that he saw a flash of recognition cross Carly's face.

"An Unkindness of Ravens?" Carly repeated. "What's it about?"

"Uh," Lucas began uneasily, throwing a hesitant look towards Brooke. "It's about my life I guess."

"Does something notable happen which makes it worthy of a novel?" Carly asked, the familiar playful tone to her voice returning.

"Not really," Lucas said throwing Brooke another glance.

Brooke looked at Lucas confused for a moment before realisation hit her. The book would contain information about her; about the life she'd had in Tree Hill right up until the moment it ended.

Carly watched the two of them carefully and smiled to herself before speaking again.

"So this novel," she began watching Lucas closely, "it's about your life?"

"Yes," Lucas answered her nodding.

"What part of your life?" she asked looking towards Brooke. "I mean, you're only, what…. twenty three?"

"It's about when I was in high school," Lucas responded feeling uneasy with Carly's questioning. "Something happened that altered the path I was on, gave me the opportunity to be part of a different world, to be someone different…"

"Something…." Carly said looking at Brooke, "or someone?"

Lucas didn't answer for a moment, giving Mrs Feltham the break in conversation she'd been waiting for.

"Why don't we continue this whilst we eat," she said, standing up from the table and heading towards the kitchen to serve up dinner.

"I'll help you," Brooke said, standing from the table and following after her.

Lucas continued to watch Carly closely as she had some more of her drink and as she looked up to meet his gaze again, that same flash of recognition flickered in her eyes.

In that moment, Lucas was sure that Carly had either read his novel, or knew someone that had. What he didn't know is what she would do with that information.

"Here you go Lucas," Mrs Feltham said, placing a plate on the table in front of him and another in front of Ashleigh.

"Thank you," Lucas said looking eagerly to the casserole placed in front of him. Until now he'd not realised that he hadn't eaten all day and now that he was within inches of the aromatic food, his stomach yearned for nourishment.

Brooke returned to the dining room placing a plate on the table in front of Carly and on in front of herself before taking her seat again.

Everyone waited whilst Mrs Feltham retrieved her own meal and took her seat once again before starting their meal.

Lucas ate hungrily, savouring the flavours in his palate as he chewed, a sense of familiarity and comfort enveloping him with every mouthful. The meal reminded him of something his mother would make him, something hearty and warm.

Mrs Feltham broke the silence that had fallen over the table as everyone ate, continuing the conversation where it had left off, "You were saying that your book was about your time in high school?" she asked Lucas who swallowed another mouthful of food.

"That's right," Lucas said nodding.

"Where was it that you grew up?" she questioned as pierced a chunk of meat on the end of her fork and lifted it carefully to her mouth.

"In North Carolina," Lucas answered, "a small town called Tree Hill."

"Did you like growing up there?" Ashleigh asked, her fork slipping and accidentally splashing gravy onto the tablecloth. "Whoops" she said glancing at Mrs Feltham.

"Don't worry dear," she assured the young girl.

"Yeah," Lucas said responding to Ashleigh's earlier question. "I did."

"Did you have lots of friends?" Ashleigh asked him as she chewed on her food.

"Don't speak with your mouth full," Brooke chided her.

"Sorry," Ashleigh said swallowing quickly. "Did you?"

"I had a nice group of friends," Lucas said looking towards Brooke. "I still have."

"You still know them now that you're old?" Ashleigh asked making Carly laugh.

"Some of them," Lucas replied smiling at his daughter.

"I think that's nice," Mrs Feltham said. "Sometimes people can lose touch after high school but those who don't will most likely remain your friends forever."

Mrs Feltham looked between Brooke and Carly before continuing.

"Take these two for example," she said gesturing the pair of them. "They were friends in high school and now they're almost inseparable."

"That's only because Brooke can't take a hint," Carly said jokingly.

"Ouch," Brooke said feigning hurt.

Carly winked at Brooke a small smile creeping onto her lips.

"They see each other everyday," Mrs Feltham said to Lucas more than anyone else, "and although they pretend to tease each other and I'm sure they have disagreements from time to time…" Mrs Feltham paused to look between them both before carrying on, "Neither of them could do without the other in their lives."

"I can understand that," Lucas said thinking about his friends back home.

Even when Brooke was in Tree Hill, their group of friends had been extremely close. They weren't exactly made up of similar personalities and you couldn't really label them a clique because of that fact. Their group wasn't conventional in the sense that everyone shared the same interests, in fact, Lucas thought that what had made their group so strong was the fact that everyone in it was different.

Peyton and Brooke couldn't have been more different, yet look at the friendship, which had formed between them. Peyton was always kind of a loner; she was artistic and broody, whereas Brooke was miss popularity, head cheerleader, interested in fashion and make-up. Two completely different personalities which somehow managed to find a common ground, to form a bond so deep that they too shared everything, knew everything about one another.

Looking between Brooke and Carly, Lucas found himself happy that she'd managed to find a friend that obviously meant to her, as much as Peyton once had.

"You and your friends," Mrs Feltham began, "You're close too?"

"Very," Lucas said smiling and turning to Brooke. "In fact, my best friend Haley married my brother Nathan."

"Really?" Brooke asked trying to sound impartial but a broad grin spreading across her lips at the knowledge that they'd managed to make their marriage work after a difficult year when Haley returned from tour.

"Yeah," Lucas answered softly enjoying Brooke's happiness at his news. "They actually have a son together about Ashleigh's age."

Brooke's grin grew bigger at this revelation. "What's his name?" she asked eagerly.

"Jamie." Lucas informed her looking towards Ashleigh, a sudden wave of sadness overcoming him at the thought that the two cousins would never get to meet each other.

"Do you like being an uncle?" Mrs Feltham asked putting her fork down on her now finished plate and taking a sip of her drink.

"Yeah I do," Lucas answered proudly. "He's a great kid, I get to spend a lot of time with him and with my other friend Jake's daughter Jenny."

Brooke looked up surprised by the mention of their old friends name. When she'd left Tree Hill, Jake was no longer around and she was pleased to here he'd returned home where he belonged.

"You must have your hands full when the two of them are together?" Brooke asked with a deeper question in her expression.

"It's only going to get worse too," Lucas, laughed, "Jake and his wife Peyton are expecting another baby any time now."

At this Brooke couldn't help a look of elation crossing her face. Jake and Peyton were married and expecting a baby, Nathan and Haley were once again a family, everything had worked out for her friends, they were happy in their lives, the only thing that dampened her joy at this news was that she had not been there to share in it with them.

"What about you Lucas?" Carly asked raising an eyebrow mischievously. "Do you have any kids of your own?"

Lucas acknowledged Carly's tone and threw a quick glance towards the brunette beside him who was avoiding his gaze. Brooke continued to eat from her plate, never looking up to meet his eyes as he answered jokingly, "Not that I know of."


	14. Chapter 14

Sitting in his place at the table, Lucas glanced around at the faces deep in conversation around him and found himself smiling. He was a guest here tonight, an intruder amongst the group of friends, yet they'd all made him feel welcome, as though his place had always been at this table, just waiting for him to take it.

Following the interest from his new acquaintances into his past and career, the conversation at the dinner table had turned to more general matters, allowing Lucas to ease once again into that comfortable sense of belonging whilst relieving the pressure he'd been feeling during his attempt to recall his past without revealing Brooke's involvement in it.

As he sat now, dessert finished, Lucas listened closely to the conversation bounding around him, Ashleigh was animatedly describing to Carly the kitten she'd seen at her friends house this morning, and how she wished her mom would let her have one. Brooke was discussing her parents' trip with Mrs Feltham, informing the old lady that they would be away for the week and that if she knew them, they would spoil Ashleigh rotten with the gifts they bought her on their return.

Sitting and watching the others, Lucas struggled to understand how somewhere that should seem so unfamiliar, so alien, could feel so much like the home he'd left behind. Then, as he once again glanced between Carly and Mrs Feltham, he thought that he finally did. Although Lucas didn't know them very well, Lucas could see similarities between them and the people he remembered when he was thinking about home.

In so many ways Carly was a complete individual. She'd obviously not had an easy life, meeting with grief and loss at an early age and now left to live everyday with the physical challenges her disability bought her. From the little time he'd spent with her, Lucas knew that she was witty, that she was a great role model and influence to have in his daughters' life, that she wasn't judgemental. Lucas could already see the position Carly filled in Brooke's world, the unwavering tower of support, someone who only wanted to see the best for her friend but wasn't afraid to tell her the truth despite the consequences or backlash she might get.

As he watched her now, Lucas thought he could see the similarities between her and Peyton. He wondered how the two of them would have gotten on had they ever had the opportunity to meet. Despite the obvious physical differences between the two girls, Carly was a lot like the brooding blonde Lucas knew so well from Tree Hill in what she bought to Brooke's life.

Turning his attention to the host, Lucas instantly knew the comfort Brooke took from the old lady. She provided Brooke with the guidance and wisdom of someone who had lived a long and full life, the same way Whitey had given it to their group back home in Tree Hill.

Brooke had carved a life out for herself here in New York. She had made a home for her and Ashleigh, surrounded herself with people who Lucas knew would do anything within their power to help her.

As he realised this, the same questions about the future flooded over him. How could this possibly work out for the best? Brooke was dead to his world and as a result, Ashleigh didn't exist. How could he be a part of his daughters' life without compromising something, somewhere along the line?

"Earth to Lucas," Carly repeated, bringing Lucas abruptly out of his thoughts and back into the presence. Noticing his attention was finally on her, Carly added, "Did you go somewhere nice?"

"What?" Lucas asked still a little disorientated.

"In your head?" Carly clarified.

"I was just thinking," Lucas said glancing around at the others who were also watching him.

"Dangerous," Carly commented before manoeuvring around the table and scooping up his dessert bowl into her lap.

"Carly," Mrs Feltham chided picking up the pile that was now collected in the blondes lap, "You're a guest, please let me do that."

"You don't trust my washing up skills either?" Carly asked the old lady. "Here's me thinking it was just my cooking you were worried about."

"You know it's not that," Mrs Feltham said taking the crockery out into the kitchen.

"Hey Ash," Carly said gesturing towards the young girl, "You want to come give me a hand washing up?"

"Ok," Ash said jumping down from the table and running into the kitchen, Carly giving her a light tap on the head as she passed.

"We'll help," Lucas said standing from his seat slowly and picking up the remainder of the dishes left on the table.

"Oh no," Carly said as Brooke too stood up, "You know what they say, 'Too many cooks spoil the broth' or something like that. Besides…. you actually are a guest."

"Are you sure?" Brooke asked her friend.

"Of course," Carly said winking at her friend. "How much trouble do you think me and Ash could possibly get into."

"Do you really want me to answer that?" Brooke asked her friend.

"No," Carly said pronouncing the word slowly. "I guess not…just…. go into the lounge and, I don't know, catch up or something."

As she said this, Carly gave Lucas a meaningful look and added, "After all, maybe today is one of those moments you can look back on and say 'that was when it all changed'"

"What did you say?" Brooke asked her friend surprised, recognising the words she'd once spoken herself.

"You heard me," Carly said watching Lucas briefly before picking up the remaining dishes and taking them into the kitchen.

As he watched her leave, Lucas couldn't help but laugh. He couldn't tell if Carly was messing with him or Brooke but he found himself getting used to her mannerisms.

Lucas turned to Brooke who was staring after her friend, her mouth still agape in confusion. She turned, still surprised towards Lucas and asked, "You heard her say that right?"

"I did," Lucas, said smiling at the expression still lingering on Brooke's face. "It reminded me of something someone once said to me before."

"You remember that?" Brooke asked, leading Lucas into the lounge and gesturing for him to sit beside her on the couch as she lowered herself into it.

Lucas took a seat beside her.

"Of course," Lucas said, "I didn't believe it at the time, but looking back, you were right."

"Playing for the Ravens did change your life." Brooke stated.

"In more ways than I could possibly know," Lucas said remembering the moment that Brooke had first said it to him vividly in his head.

Brooke smiled at Lucas, recalling the same memory before turning towards the door where Carly had disappeared.

"Have you said something to Carly about our past?" Brooke asked concern in her voice.

"No," Lucas answered honestly. "I wouldn't betray your trust like that, you asked me not to."

Lucas paused for a moment before continuing, "I think she's more astute than you give her credit for."

"Do you think she's read your book?" Brooke asked him.

Lucas looked towards the door, "I don't know," he said unsure, "She might have done or she might have just heard about it from a colleague that read it."

"Am I in it?" Brooke asked, worry in her voice.

Lucas gazed at Brooke a moment before glancing down at his feet.

"You're one of the biggest parts of it," he said quietly.

"So if she's read it," Brooke began, putting the pieces together, "she'd know why we separated?"

"I'm afraid so," Lucas admitted.

"I should talk to her about it," Brooke said starting to stand up from the sofa.

Lucas placed a steadying hand on her arm, encouraging her to take her seat again.

"Why?" Lucas asked Brooke seriously. "Brooke, Carly is your best friend, do you honestly believe that she would say anything to anyone to jeopardise yours and Ashleigh's safety?"

"No but…" Brooke began before Lucas cut her off.

"No, but nothing," Lucas said reassuringly. "I think I've got a pretty good idea of Carly since this morning and trust me, whatever she knows, will stay a secret Brooke."

"You're right," Brooke conceded, "but still, she must have some questions."

"I think that Carly knows that if you want to tell her, you will." Lucas said, "She won't push you for details."

"You've been back in my life less than a day and you already the people in it better than I do," Brooke responded, "but it feels right you being here, almost like you've always been with us, that we've not been separated."

Brooke paused momentarily before continuing, "This is how it should be, you a part of Ashleigh's life, somehow, in one form or another."

Lucas looked confused but completely agreed. He felt at home here as well, like all the pain he'd felt when he'd lost Brooke was a dream and that it had always been this way, the two of them together.

"What do you mean?" Lucas asked slightly puzzled at the last statement.

"I mean, in regards to what you tell Ashleigh," Brooke said clarifying the misunderstanding. "Whether you want her to know you're her dad or just be a part of her life as my friend."

"Right," Lucas said finally understanding. "Actually, I was kind of hoping, if it was alright, that we could talk about that later."

"Sure," Brooke said sensing that Lucas didn't want to discuss it where details might be overheard.

"Maybe we could go for a walk after we've finished here?" Lucas suggested. "I could fill you in on everything that's happening back home, and we could discuss how this could work with Ashleigh?"

"Ok," Brooke agreed, "I'm sure Carly won't mind watching Ash for me."

"Great," Lucas said smiling at the brunette and seeing her dimpled smile in response.

Carly scooped up a handful of suds in her hand and gently dabbed some on the end of Ashleigh's nose, causing the small girl to giggle, scoop up a handful of her own and throw them at Carly.

"Thanks," Carly said, wiping at the suds on her top and smiling at the girl.

"Your welcome," Ashleigh giggled in response before pulling out the plug and drying her hands on a towel.

"Carly you do encourage her," Mrs Feltham scolded playfully.

"Well someone needs to," Carly said laughing and picking Ashleigh up under the armpits. She groaned as she lifted the girl into a sitting position on her lap and said teasingly, "How much did you eat?"

"I had two bowls of ice cream for dessert," Ashleigh said rubbing her tummy.

"I can tell," Carly laughed.

"Are you sure you should be lifting her Carly," Mrs Feltham asked concerned.

"Sure," Carly answered confused, "Why shouldn't I be?"

Mrs Feltham threw a speculative glance at Ashleigh who was watching her intently.

"It doesn't matter," she said wiping up the last dish with a cloth and placing it back into the cupboard.

"Yeah it does," Carly said frowning, "otherwise you wouldn't have bought it up."

Mrs Feltham didn't say anything for a moment, avoiding eye contact with Carly as she neatly folded the dishcloth and placed it on the kitchen counter.

"Is this about earlier?" Carly asked. "About me not drinking?"

"I'm just concerned about you," Mrs Feltham said anxiously. "You don't have any parents to look out for you, any family, I feel a responsibility to you."

"I don't want to be a burden," Carly said misunderstanding.

"Oh no Carly," Mrs Feltham replied quickly. "You're not a burden. What I meant was that, I care a great deal about you. Me and my husband, we couldn't have children but you, you're like a daughter to me and I just want to make sure that you're alright."

Carly felt the corner of her lips curl up into a small smile.

"I'm ok," Carly said softly trying to allay Mrs Feltham's concerns.

"Carly," Mrs Feltham defended, "You said you couldn't drink, not that you didn't want to."

"I know that," Carly said.

"Then what is it?" Mrs Feltham asked.

"Are you going to worry about this until I tell you?" Carly sighed.

Mrs Feltham nodded.

"I'll worry too," Ashleigh said resting her head against Carly's chest.

Carly groaned, "Ok that's not fair Ash," she said to the girl in her lap.

Mrs Feltham just continued to look at Carly in silence; waiting for her to reveal what she'd been avoiding telling them all earlier.

"It's nothing," Carly began. "It's just some new medication I'm on, that's all."

"What kind of medication?" Mrs Feltham asked sounding more concerned than before.

"Anti-epileptic medication." Carly said simply.

"Since when have you been epileptic?" Mrs Feltham asked stepping towards Carly.

"What's epipeltic?" Ashleigh asked struggling with the word.

"Since about three weeks ago," Carly answered.

"You had a seizure," Mrs Feltham stated rather than asked.

"It was nothing," Carly protested.

"What was nothing?" Brooke asked as she stepped into the kitchen, Lucas following behind her.

"Aunt Carly had a seizure," Ash said looking towards her mom.

"What?" Brooke asked, the same anxious tone in her voice that Carly had heard in Mrs Feltham's.

"She says it's nothing," Mrs Feltham informed Brooke.

"It is nothing," Carly said trying to brush the subject back under the rug where she wished she'd left it.

"Carly!" Brooke proclaimed. "It's not nothing if your having seizures."

"They can be pretty bad," Lucas agreed.

"Oh don't you start," Carly sighed.

"What's causing them?" Brooke asked concerned for her friend. "Is it a brain tumour? It is isn't it?"

"What? No," Carly said.

"Then what is?" Brooke said staring directly at Carly.

"It's from the accident," Carly said simply. "The doctor said epilepsy can be common after suffering a head injury."

"Your accident was years ago," Mrs Feltham, said, "why haven't you had one before?"

"I don't know," Carly admitted, "The doctor said I've probably had it since the car crash, I just didn't know about it because I hadn't had any seizures. Some people go years between having them."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Brooke asked her friend, her voice softening.

"Funnily enough," Carly answered, "I didn't want you to worry."

"Carly," Brooke began, but Carly hadn't finished what she was saying.

"Brooke, you already worry about me because you think that being in this chair means I'm vulnerable," Carly paused momentarily. "I didn't want to give you anything else to trouble over."

"That's not fair," Brooke defended.

"It's true though isn't it?" Carly asked.

"Is it so wrong of me to care about you?" Brooke questioned her friend.

"No," Carly replied, "but I don't want you to feel like you have to watch out for me all the time either."

"So we're just going to ignore this?" Brooke asked.

"Please," Carly pleaded.

"Ok," Brooke conceded, "but it doesn't mean that I like it."

"Fine," Carly said.

"This isn't the end of this conversation either," Brooke informed her.

"I don't doubt it," Carly smiled before turning to Mrs Feltham.

"As long as you're sure that you are ok?" she checked.

"I'm fine," Carly told her.

"Then for now," she agreed, "we'll let it sit."

"Thank you," Carly said appreciatively.

"I can still hang out with you can't I?" she asked getting a little upset.

"Of course you can Ash," Carly answered, wiping a tear from her cheek as a broad grin spread across the girls face and she threw her little arms around her neck pulling her into a tight embrace.

**A/N – Reviews would really help me to know what people are liking about the story and what they would like to see in it further on.**


End file.
